anonymity was never an option

91: dean

When Dean walked out of the bathroom with his wet hair dripping onto his face, he did not expect to see Castiel so... confused.

"What's up Cas?" He said placing the clothes he had on earlier in a basket by the bed.

Usually Cas would've responded something quirky like 'the sky' or 'millions of cosmic entities,' but he didn't say a word.

As he looked over to his boyfriend laying on the bed, he realized his laptop was sitting at his side and there was a small black stick he was playing with in his fingers.

"What is that?"

"A flash drive. Michael left it for me."

"Did you see what was on it?" Dean shook his hand through his hair, trying to free the water droplets dripping down onto his shoulders.

Castiel nodded and looked into the comforter.

"It was like a confession... I guess."

"A confession?"

"Yeah." Cas smiled, ironically Dean almost thought he looked in pain.

"I think Michael was bi. Well, and terrified."

"Huh." Dean walked over to the bed slowly and sat down, causing the mattress to bend towards him. "Why didn't he tell you? Well I mean... in person?"

"He..." Castiel sighed and Dean watched as traced the line of stitches on his pants. "I don't know. I guess he was scared because he didn't want me to go to school with the guy he was with and know what happened... I don't really know it's all really fucked... I mean I've done stupid shit... Gabriel's done worse but... Michael never really fucked up, and I think he thought what happened was some super awful thing..."

Castiel flipped the drive over in his hand and then looked up and met Dean's eyes.

"It's just... why was Michael so afraid? He'd never done anything bad... did he think we would look down on him? We've done so much worse than he has... I just don't know why he didn't tell me."

Dean tilted his head over and lowered his eyebrows as he scanned Castiel's face for a sign. But there was nothing. He was just confused and frustrated.

"Cas... I'm sure it's pretty rough to be just this awesome person your whole life and then believe you've made a huge mistake. Michael was scared... I mean how would everyone have seen his perfect image? How would your mother? From what I hear she's not the most tolerant person to deal with."

"I know. And I mean... with the guy he was with... I don't blame him. I would've never have claimed that."

"He told you who it was?"

"Yeah... and we know him. He's a junior. That's the scary part. I know exactly who he is, and why Michael was so... confused and scared and... I just want to beat the living shit out of him."

"Michael?"

"No you dumbass."

Dean wanted to know who it was so badly, but he also didn't want to pry. Being nosy never got him anywhere, and he didn't want to push Cas... not now... not tonight. He scanned through all the juniors he knew, which was approximately 68% of them seeing as how he was a junior too.

Maybe someday Dean would figure out who it was and beat him up for Cas. Not that his boyfriend would actually like that because he probably wanted to do that himself, but... all the same.

"It's just... I don't know why he didn't tell me. I could've helped him... but instead he just ran away to freaking Texas." Cas threw his hands up and then landed them back in his lap.

"With this guy?" Dean looked at him.

"No, no, he went over the summer a few years ago I guess now I know it was to get away from him... and he found his girlfriend there who was ironically moving to here to finish her senior year and live with her long lost sister."

"Woah... what are the chances?"

"I know... but I mean I have no problem with her she's an awesome person who has been nothing but nice to me, and she supports Michael and gives him an edge... or atleast she did... she's really great, but just looking back at it now... I don't know... it's weird... it's like he ran to her because he needed to redeem himself."

Dean stayed silent. He could tell Cas was in a deep train of thought. He was confused... and mad... and sad... and Dean didn't know what to do or say. If his brother ever dated a guy, Dean wouldn't freak out... but then again what little of Dean's family that was left wouldn't really have made a big deal out of something like this as the Novak's would've.

"Cas... why are you freaking out about it? I know you were surprised, but do you actually think it matters now? He's still your brother, the same one you remember. Now you just know you weren't alone." Dean reached his hand out to Cas and grabbed ahold of his free hand.

"Maybe. I don't know. I'm just... I'm probably just tired and there's just been soooo much to think about today... I just... I need a break, Dean. It never stops." He looked down into his lap.

"I know." Dean said squeezing the hand in his. "How about we just spend this entire next weekend doing nothing, but relaxing and forgetting the world?"

"That's sounds so nice... but I'm gonna have so much work to make up from this week I just... I don't know if I'll have the time..."

"Listen... hey... I'll help you with that. We can get it all done."

Castiel looked up at him and faintly smiled.

"Okay." He whispered.

"Yeah?" Dean looked at him.

"Yeah."

Dean reached over to his boyfriend's side of the bed and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him into his shoulder. Castiel's hands slid up his back and met between his shoulder blades as he laid his head down on his chest. Dean just sat there, holding Castiel, breathing in the smell of his own cologne on the flannel he was wearing.

"You're gonna be okay Cas." He whispered next to his boyfriend's messy dark hair.

"I promise."