Solace {A Game of Thrones Fanfiction}

Chapter 43

Tara was in bed reading one of the books Theon had given to her. "Tara." He said to her.

Tara looked up at him. He had a very serious expression on his face. He didn't need to say anything for Tara to know. 

She put the book down, "Come sit."

Theon swallowed a lump in his throat before he sat down on the bed. He looked down at the stone floor. 

"What is it?" Tara asked. She was worried. She knew it must have something to do with Yara but she was afraid to hear what it was going to be. 

"Euron... he took Yara." Theon said defeatedly.

"Theon I'm-" 

"No it's not just that." Theon looked up at her. He was hesitant. He didn't want to admit what he had done.

"Euron he- he was holding an ax to her throat. I was standing right in front of him." Theon shook his head, "But then it started coming back. All the nightmares and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how I could save her. How I would be able to come back alive. And-" Theon had been starting to ramble but he stopped himself. 

"I left her there Tara." Theon finally admitted, "I jumped overboard and I left her there."

"Like a coward." Theon was angry at himself. He didn't look Tara in the eyes. 

Tara was at a complete loss for words. Instead, she reached out for him. She put her hand on his shoulder. He immediately shook it off and stood up angrily. 

"Why do you love me Tara?" He asked. Tears were in his eyes but on the outside it was all anger. 

"I'm a horrible man. I have been selfish and a coward my whole life!" Theon shook his head again, "I left my brothers, my real family. I betrayed them. I killed innocent boys! I caused a world of suffering for you and now I have left my sister. I left her to be tortured or killed or worse." Tears streamed down his cheeks. 

"How can you love a coward like me?" He felt himself shaking with emotion. 

Tara could feel tears welling up in her eyes but she pushed them all back, "Theon." She started calmly, "I'm not perfect either."

"I'm a coward too. I stayed at the dread fort for years. My little sister was taken from me when I was 12 and I was too much of a coward to ever go find her. I stayed in the dread fort and let people abuse me. I could have escaped. It wouldn't have been that hard." Tara shook her head.

"I have let other people control me my whole life. And I never did anything about it. I just let them." Tara finished. 

She stood up now and walked towards Theon. She put her hand on cheek wiping away his tears. Even after all these times, Theon could never believe how much it soothed him. He could never believe how soft her touch was. 

"But I would have never met you if I wasn't a coward. I would have never leaved that place and Ramsay if I hadn't met you." Tara said, "You give me strength I didn't know I had. That must mean something."

The anger was now draining from Theon's body. He pulled her close. Tara was glad to be in his arms.

"I have to find her." Theon said. 

"You will." Tara pulled back so she could look at him, "You will make it up to her."

They held each other for a moment as they both calmed down. Theon felt better now, but not all the way. He would only feel completely better once he had his sister back. 

They pulled away from each other. "What did you need to tell me?" Theon asked. 

Tara bit her lip. "It's Jon."