Why?

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What is wrong with me?
Why am I like this?
Why do I hide?
Why don't I talk?

Why do I shove everything down
into an already crammed compartment in my head
that I know will eventually burst open and expose everything that I've ever thought or done or tried to do?
Why don't I want to talk about my problems,
but then I somehow end up pouring everything out to someone at a random time
when they obviously don't care
and it's not that important anyways?

Why is it that when people try to help me or give me advice
I push them away and ignore them
and just keep pouring out everything that I'm thinking
instead of just shutting up and taking their advice?
Why do I feel the need
to keep talking about something
that I've talked about for the past 5 minutes?
Why do I feel the need
to go back to a subject that came up 10 minutes ago
and make everything sad again
when my friends are trying to tell me that it's okay
and it gets better?

Why?
Why am I so shy?
Why do I have so much trouble talking to people,
even people I know?
Why do I constantly put myself down for every little thing I do?
Why do I constantly think
everything
is my fault?

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