Loving Katy

Chapter 7 (An unexplained feeling)

I can't believe that I'm actually falling for him. I mean yeah I thought he was nice and everything but I never thought that it would end up like this. I've never wanted something that I can't have so badly in my life until now, and that feeling of what might come out of this is something I can't even begin to describe. But for some reason, I don't want this to stop for either of us because he understands me. I can't think of why he does but I'm thankful that at least one of my friends understands what Bipolar is, but I don't know what love even is to some people. I don't even know what it means to be loved by a man. You'd think that someone like me would know what it is because of the amount of romance books I've read in my lifetime, and in every romance book, there's a connection, something keeping them apart, and a happy ending. That's the formula for a good romance novel, but this feeling that you experience when you're falling for someone is something that no amount of romance novels can describe. This once again tells me that I need to stop reading so many romance books and that books don't always mean it's going to happen in real life, but with something as realistic as a romance you don't think it can happen to you until it does and it's as shocking as it is beautiful.

I feel the warmth of the setting sun on my face and shoulder. I look out my huge window with my cat nearly asleep on my lap as I scratch his cheek. The feel of the soft cushions on the window sill makes me feel as though I don't want to stand up. I also know that Smokey won't want me to get up either.

I hear some conversation going on between my mom and my sister downstairs. Probably about homework and school or what she needs to do about her next photo shoot. Though my sister said that she wants to try acting.

I'm about to reach for my copy of Anna and the French kiss by Stephanie Perkins when I hear someone open my bedroom door. I turn my head to see Alexa standing in the doorway.

"When are you going to stop daydreaming about him?" she asks.

What?

I look at her confused. "What do you mean?" I ask back.

She crosses her arms and makes her way to my bed. "C'mon Katy I know that look when someone is starting to fall in love," she says and sits on the light blue comforter of my bed across from me. "Tell me Katy are you falling in love with him?"

What do I do?

I bite my tongue and take a deep breath in. "Yes," I answer simply.

Alexa smiles at me like she's just seen me received an academy award for best actress in a lead role. "Though what is it that draws you into him so much?" she asks pushing me to answer to get to what she considers to be juicy gossip.

I look up trying to find a good answer. "It's just when I'm with him I don't even feel like I'm Bipolar, I feel like I'm...me" I answer with my head in the clouds.

Alexa gives me the biggest smile I've ever seen. "Katy do you know how long I've waited for you to finally say that about someone?" she asks relived.

"Uh, no" I reply.

"Have you told him about how you feel?" she asks.

I shake my head. "No, because he hasn't given me the chance to do it" I reply.

Alexa steps over to sit across from me on the window. "Listen, Katy, if you want something it's worth fighting for. What do all of the characters in your romance books have in common? They all fought for what they wanted. You have to fight for him before another girl gets him" she says.

I nod my head in response.

She's right though.  All of the characters in my books have that one thing in common. They fought for what they loved and what they believed in. Though in real life it's a lot harder to find the courage to say something to other people, even though it's hard I know that if I want Jake I have to fight for him.