Crazy (a Louis Tomlinson love story)

Chapter 22

***Louis’ P.O.V.***

When I woke up in the morning, I didn’t want to pull myself out of bed. My head hurt from crying so much, and my back was sore from being curled up in bed for the whole day. In all honesty, I felt sort of empty and I didn’t want to go anywhere at the moment. I hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, but I still didn’t seem to have much of an appetite. So, I forced myself to get up, and I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a white shirt; I couldn’t be bothered to try harder on my appearance.

Harry was going to pick me up at seven so that I wouldn’t have to drive my car separately to the airport. Elizabeth was going to drive his car back to his flat after we had taken off because she had just gotten her license. I wasn’t really looking forward to being stuck in a car with the two love birds, but I knew that I shouldn’t complain. The last thing I wanted to do was tear down the other boys’ relationships just because mine had ended so suddenly.

While I sat on the porch of my flat and waited for Harry’s familiar black car to arrive, I pulled out my phone just to make sure that there were no new messages from Carson. I knew that it wasn’t very likely, but there was still a part of me that really wanted to hang onto the last shred of hope that I had. I would call her again and again if I had to, though, I doubt that she would ever pick up the phone. I must have called about a hundred times yesterday, and I tried to leave a voicemail or two, but it was hard to get anything out through how much I was crying. I hated how weak I was at that time, but I knew that it made sense. Carson was so much to me; I loved her more than any word in the world could possibly describe, and losing her was like going through hell. The worst part was not even knowing what I did wrong.

My finger hovered over her contact for only a moment before I hit the ‘CALL’ button and listened to the droning of the ringer. One, two, three, four, five, and the phone was never picked up before they could end. The familiar beep of the answer machine sounded after the rings had stopped and an automatic voice instructed me on what to do. After a deep breath, I began my message, “Carson,” within the first word I had already managed to have my voice crack, “I’m sorry for whatever I did; for proposing or I don’t know. All I know is that… is that I hope you’ll come back because-s*** this is useless.” I hung up quickly, and bit my lip to try and keep myself from crying. I was tired of crying.

There was a loud honk from outside the gates surrounding my flat, and I looked up to see Elizabeth waving to me from the passenger window of Harry’s car. I was quick to wipe the frown off of my face as best as I could, and I quickly made my way over. After slipping past the gate, I slid into the back seat of the car and buckled up so that Harry could continue towards the airport. Elizabeth didn’t try to make conversation, and neither did Harry; I was kind of glad because I don’t think that I would’ve wanted to talk much.

My posture was slumped, and I crossed my arms over my chest in order to try and make myself more comfortable. After a while, I fell asleep because I knew that it would take us a little while to get to the airport, and I was woken up by Elizabeth gently shaking me. I looked up at her groggily, and she helped me to straighten up since I was still pretty much half asleep. By the time I had gotten out of the cat and pulled my suitcase out with me, I was awake enough to walk without her help.

Our security escorted us into the building, and I could hear the loud screaming from the girls all around us but I didn’t look up to look at them. Instead, I hung my head as I walked behind Elizabeth and Harry. They were holding hands as they walked, and I had to quickly advert my eyes from them because I was already feeling bitter about it. How could I already be feeling this way?

When we reached the private terminal, the screaming was drowned out and the only people there were a few of our security guards and the boys, Megan, and Elizabeth. Zayn and Niall immediately noticed my sour look, and they were quick to approach me. Elizabeth tried to warn them to not bug me too much, but she wasn’t able to when Harry pulled her to the side to say goodbye.

“Hey, Louis, you okay?” Niall wondered once they were both in front of me. Niall must have said bye to Navaeh before he came; she probably couldn’t get a day off from university or something. I offered a shrug in response to his question because I was afraid that my voice would betray me if I did try to say something.

“Where’s Carson?” Zayn asked, and I sucked in a breath at the question before covering it up with another shrug. What was I supposed to tell them? I really didn’t want them to offer up any pity for my situation because I was already starting to get sick of the idea of hearing a whole bunch of the same pointless apology. It wasn’t their fault that she was gone; if anything, I had probably done something. They must have figured out that I didn’t want to talk about it, and they left it at that before stepping away and beginning a conversation on their own.  

I was left to look around as we waited for everything to be a hundred percent ready so that we could board the private jet. Megan and Liam were in the corner practically sucking each other’s faces off, but I didn’t let it bother me because it wasn’t the first time. Harry and Elizabeth, on the other hand, were locked into a tight embrace while it looked like they were whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. I wished that Carson was there; she would probably be hugging me as if the world was ending but muttering jokes under her breath as she did so just so that she could lighten the mood. I missed her, and it hadn’t even been that long since I found out that she was gone. How the hell was I going to survive the whole tour and then coming back to an empty flat afterwards?

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Well, this was a little shorter than i was hoping to make it, but I hope that you enjoyed it.  There will hopefully be another update coming soon! There is definitely a lot more to this story so dont worry :)

-cow_queen