Crazy (a Louis Tomlinson love story)

Chapter 24

***Louis’ P.O.V.***

I probably texted Carson back a thousand times after receiving that text. It was the same things over and over again; where did you go? Why’d you leave? Are you okay? I love you. I miss you.

I never received another text.

When I awoke to find that out, I had a plethora of tears to shed. Nothing was making sense, and I hated it. I’d have to go back on tour with the boys and force on a smile because Harry would no doubt be over the moon. There was no reason for me to rain on his parade. However, I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about the text and why she had sent it before going quiet again.

“Louis?” my mother’s voice called from the other side of the door. Quickly, I wiped away the tears on my cheeks even though there were still more coming. Just as the door was creaking open, I turned to look at the light seeping in from the hallway. “Boobear, what’s wrong?” she questioned while coming to sit beside me. Her words reminded me of earlier years; before the boys and I got really big and she would calm me down with the nickname whenever I was too sad or angry. I told the boys that I hated it when they heard her call me it, but in truth it was just what I needed.

For a moment, I couldn’t answer her because I was crying too much. I had thought that I had ran out of tears-maybe that was an exaggeration-but apparently there were still more forcing their way out. I had cried so much in the last month that it physically hurt to cry sometimes.

My knees were pulled towards my chest so that I could rest my arms and head against them while I sobbed. Maybe I had woken everyone up, but I couldn’t seem to stop now that I had someone beside me patting my back. Around the fans, I would never let this side of me show. I had to be strong and reliable and always have a smile on my face. I was there rock, and I didn’t want them to have to pity me. Plus, I didn’t want to seem so weak and vulnerable in front of them, but I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep to that at tonight’s concert.

“She texted me,” I choked out. Without context, the words sounded silly. However, it wasn’t a silly matter, and my mum knew that right away. Her arms wrapped around me tightly while she rested her cheek against my shoulder. The soft patter of small feet could be heard in the hallway, and a huddle of girls waited at the door of my bedroom. They were soon joined by Daniel who watched on with sadness in his eyes.

If I was correct, the girls had only seen me cry a handful of times when they were younger. My mum had seen me cry a lot more than a handful, but still less than most mothers would expect. This was something new for them all, though; I had never cried so much and so violently while they were there. I was literally shaking with my sobs.

As I buried my head in the crook of my elbow, more arms wrapped around me and my bed shifted. Everyone had crowded around me and formed a group hug. With that, my cries soon faded away and turned into small chuckles. The warmth of the hug was almost intoxicating, and I could hear soft sniffles coming from Daisy and Phoebe. I had my family, and they would always be there just like I had told myself a thousand times before. I felt lucky.

The dark stadium was illuminated by the bright and blinding lights shining towards the stage and the little light sticks that some of the fans were waving around. It’d been a long day; so much had gone on since I had left Doncaster early in the morning to board the plane that would bring me to our next concert location in South America. My emotional stability was still questionable at the moment, but I was putting everything I had into performing like always. The other boys were enjoying themselves immensely; the amount of times that Harry giggled when seeing something about Elizabeth was kind of dizzying. The boys and I made sure to congratulate him on his engagement, and the fans went wild because of it.

We had gotten to the end of the concert, and we only had one song left to do. I was dreading it only because of what it was; Little Things. It would pretty much be a sin to just leave it out, and we had sung everything else except for it so I had no choice. Leading up to its beginning, I could feel my mood fading quickly. The smile on my lips scarcely stayed for more than a few seconds. Harry had noticed my sudden change; he was watching me nervously while we all sat down at separate places on the stage.

Zayn started the song while singling out a lucky few girls in front of him and pointing to them while he sang. There was screaming all around me, and I tried to focus on the amazing fans surrounding me with their flashlights swaying instead of focusing on who the song reminded me of. By the time Liam’s solo came around, I was biting my lip to keep it from trembling and betraying me. Zayn took up his mic again so that he could sing the first chorus while Liam added his voice to the background. With a shaky sigh, I brought my microphone to my lips and let the lyrics stumble out.

My voice was shaking quite obviously, and the whole stadium seemed to get quiet. Looking around at the humongous crowd, my words wavered even more, and just as I was close to my verses end the words got caught in my throat. Someone sat down beside me; I couldn’t look over to see who it was because I was almost frozen in my position while looking out at the crowd. I dropped the hand that held my mic, and Harry finished my solo for me before he started his own. Dragging my hand down my face, I let out another shaky breath before I was gasping in air.

A hand landed on my back, and I raised my head to look over at Harry. He had this kind of understanding look in his eyes. I had almost forgotten that Harry had gone through something quite similar with Elizabeth. Granted, he did something horrible to her and that’s why she left, but she still left and he had been devastated until he found her. I gave him a nod, and it was as if we had just had a whole entire conversation in the few moments that we had looked at each other. Yes, I was lucky.