tom holland/peter parker and steve rogers oneshots

insomniac- steve rogers

You couldn't sleep. No matter what you did, what you tried, your eyelids would refuse to close in the fears of all those memories returning again. Well, to put it this way, you could sleep if you wanted to, but you didn't, because you knew that sleeping would only bring on a flood of tramautic memories and bad nightmares about what happened two weeks ago.

It was around two in the morning, and you had tossed and turned in your bed for over an hour before you just couldn't take it anymore, and got up and carefully tiptoed out to the balcony of the Avengers HQs.

Pushing open the glass doors, you saw the upstate New York skyline glitter in the distance, a calming cluster of light and shadows illuminating the water.

The gentle sounds of chatter coming from 'the city that never sleeps' and the darkness did little to comfort you, and you wished that you could just go back to the way things had been. A slight breeze fanned your hair around, bringing out goosebumps on your arms.

All you wanted was a good night's sleep. But you couldn't.

Insomnia had taken over and had become your newest best friend.

More like your newest demon.

Those two weeks after the death of your father was a restless one: you spent those days either cooped up in your room and not speaking to anyone or pacing around the kitchen or sitting out by the front doors, gazing up at the tall trees that seemed to stretch up towards the sky for eternity.

You were an independent person---never bothering to reach out to anyone,even after his funeral, which left your heart in pieces.

The team was wondering what had gotten into you, because during training your head was in the clouds, you were much more distracted and every morning you walked into the kitchen, looking like a zombie. But you refused to tell them what happened, because you didn't want to add additional pressure onto their shoulders.

The noise of New York City did nothing to drown out your thoughts of him, and your heart twisted at those thoughts, hoping, praying, and wishing you could have just one more, just one more moment with him. There wasn't anything that you wouldn't do to see him again.

Your father was your rock, your biggest fan and supporter, and the one person who was always there for you, picking you up whenever you fell. And now that he was gone, killed in a car crash, you felt this empty feeling in your chest as if there was a gaping hole in your heart that could not be fixed.

As you leaned against the cold, metal balcony, every little memory came flooding back. Your father, pushing you on the swings at the playground when you were four.

Age eight, your birthday at Disneyland.

Twelve, when you went to the beach and had a seashell-hunting contest with him, carrying home bucketloads of gorgeous stones and trinkets from the sea.

Fifteen, when you first started as a SHIELD agent, him supporting this decision and encouraging you to go out and train with the superheroes. Your sweet sixteen celebration with him gifting you with your dream car. When you got sick, he took care of you as well.

Now that he was gone, what were you going to do?

You swallowed hard and looked up towards the sky, trying to find constellations, but it failed after a minute because even the stars reminded you of him. He loved astrology and would often take you stargazing. It seemed as if everywhere you looked, you'd see him.

Every little thing reminded you of him.

The Statue of Liberty, which he would take you to once a month.