But God Forced Me to Reincarnate!

Cyan

"I want to quickly grow up, gain my freedom and power soon! Then, I'll be able to take Firis away from this place and we can go to see the world!"

That's what I kept saying not long after I found out that my real mother was actually Firis, the one who had always been there for me.

For all my life up until that moment, I always knew that she was my wet nurse and the maid assigned to take care of me and raise me. I even felt closer to her than my "mother".

I rarely saw Mother. I saw Firis every day.

Mother was cold. Firis was warm.

At some point in my life, I questioned Firis' sincerity—if it was all due to her obligation and duty of work, rather than her pure feelings towards me.

Though deep down, I felt that she was sincere. But still, I was afraid.

At my 6th birthday, I was truly convinced that Mother and Dius-niisama shunned and hated me. It took me so long to finally accept it. But since the process was gradual, I was... okay, just bitter. That was when I thought... If Firis—the one who had always been with me and the one who was so kind to me—actually felt the same deep down, I didn't know if I could hold on.

So, after I found out the truth, everything started to make sense.

I didn't quite understand it the first time Firis and Chloe explained the whole situation to me, but as I matured, I gradually came to understand.

Aah, so, no wonder!

There were so many "no wonder"s that popped in my mind from time to time.

But, no matter.

No matter how hard it might be, I had Firis by my side. I could do my best. So that someday, we could be happy.

But one day, Firis would often fall sick. She even collapsed.

At first, I thought that she might be overworking, but before long...

It was apparent that her health was deteriorating. She got nosebleed and coughed blood often.

Gradually, it turned worse. Sometimes, she couldn't really move her hands well. Sometimes, it felt as if she couldn't see things clearly.

The doctor who checked on her only said that her body was 'withering' and it might be caused by the accumulation of her poor lifestyle so far. Nothing else could be done.

Well, there were herbs and medicine that could alleviate her symptoms and make her feel better, but in no time, I found them ineffective.

And I panicked. I felt like my time was running out, but I wasn't even an adult, nor did I have the power to fulfill my promise to her.

I couldn't even take her to a better doctor—to get a better treatment. Basically, I was hopeless and I hated this.

The only blood-related family member that sincerely loved me was dying, but there was nothing I could do... except to watch her suffer and get weak day by day.

It was the worst feeling I had to experience.

And finally, the dreadful day came... I would be lying if I said that I didn't see it coming at all. The truth was... I saw it coming all along, yet I always denied it.

I was afraid.

Afraid that if I were to admit it, I wouldn't be able to keep on.

To make her happy... was my life goal.

I had nothing else in my mind, so how could I imagine my life without her?

Maybe... a life without her was not 'life' at all.