Detective Brandon Interview

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Captain: Sit. 

Detective Brandon: I'm good here, thanks.

Captain: It wasn't a request. SIT.

I'm guessing by now forensics has informed you that the DNA on Caitlyn's underwear does not belong to Dr. Patrick.

Detective Brandon: Yes.

Captain: And I'm guessing by now, you've realized how fucked we are. All that lawyer needs is to put a sliver of doubt in the jury's mind and now he's got it!

Detective Brandon: I'm aware.

Captain: Well, I hope you're also aware that if you don't figure out who the hell that DNA belongs to, and FAST, it's your ass on the line!

Detective Brandon: Yes, sir. Martìnez and I will get on this right away sir.

Captain: No, I'm sending Rodríguez with you.

Detective Brandon: What? Look, I know Martìnez's methods are a bit unconventional but he's done great work overall and...

Captain: No, Martìnez is out.

Detective Brandon: What? You took him off the case? With all due respect sir....

Captain: No, you're not hearing me. He's out, as in, gone. He resigned earlier today.

Detective Brandon: You're shitting me. Why?

Captain: Didn't say a whole lot. Some shit about having a life epiphany and not being able to stomach this kind of work. Frankly, I could care less. He was more work than he was worth, especially after this colossal screw up you two have caused.

Rodríguez! Get your ass in here!

Rodríguez: Yes, Cap?

Captain: I'm putting you on the Caitlyn Coates murder case with Bonehead Brandon here. Don't fuck it up.

Rodríguez: Yes sir. Thank you sir.

Captain: Here's the file. Get caught up quickly.

Shit, I'm late for the press conference out front. Not a word of this to anyone, you understand?

Rodríguez: Yes sir.

Captain: Brandon?!

Detective Brandon: Got it.

Rodríguez: Well, I guess we should start with a debriefing so I can get up to speed.

(Silence)

I think you're looking at the wrong file bro. Cap gave me Caitlyn's file here.

Detective Brandon: I'm not trying to look at her file. I'm looking at Martinez's file. Cap left it on his desk.

Rodríguez: I don't know if we should be looking at that. What the hell happened to him anyway? There've been rumors going around all morning. Did he really just up and quit?

(Silence)

Brandon? Helllloooo?

Detective Brandon:
Hey Rodríguez, what's the deal with Mexican last names again?

Rodríguez: You mean the whole two-name thing?

Detective Brandon: Yeah.

Rodríguez: The first last name is the father's surname and the second is the mother's maiden name. A lot of times people will drop one. It's just easier that way. Like me, I'm technically Lopez Rodríguez, but no one calls me that.

Why do you ask?

Detective Brandon: Because, according to this file, Martìnez's last name isn't just Martìnez.

Rodríguez: Yeah, so?

Detective Brandon: It's Ryan Martìnez.

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