Murder She Wrote

30. Sick and Tired

I felt completely empty in this house and the silence was killing me. It's been 3 days since I've last seen Sierra. I thought she would call by now, to talk or to see how I'm holding up. Even when she's angry at me, she always would check in to at least see if I'm okay. I know it's pathetic of me to even wish that but I really miss her. I've fucked up big time, and I've been trying to figure out ways to fix this whole mess but nothing can erase what I've done and nothing can make her see me as the man she fell in love with.

"Sierra can you please call me back, I need to explain some things to you, and I miss my daughter...I miss you," I recorded what seemed like the hundredth message.

"Just give her some time," Louis who sat in the middle of my kitchen said. "It's not entirely over, she's just frustrated and need some space."

"She told me she hates me and she hasn't spoken to me since that night, I'm sure it's over with," I responded to him angrily. "My life is over."

"Don't say that, people go through—"

"It's for you to say when you have a wife that you can go home to," I cut him off. He was taken back by the tone of my voice. It's unfair how I'm letting my anger out on him when I'm the one who specifically called him over, so I can have someone to talk with. My anger should be taken out on that manipulative bitch that ruined my life, tore my family and marriage apart. Words can't express how much I want to ruin her the same way she's done to me.

"Look, you need to relax. How about we go out for some drinks tonight, that should distract you."

"No, I'll pass. I'd rather stay here," I denied his approach. "I'm meeting with the same officer later on."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" He gave me an unusual look. "If this girl is as crazy as she seems to be, she's going to eventually find out what you're doing and going to the police will trigger her even more."

"I don't care, I want her out of my life," I said. "If she's going to harm me, she would've done it by now but she hasn't. And she won't. Triggering her anger is the only way I can play her own cards against her."

"Triggering her will only ruin your life even more. She broke off your relationship with Sierra, she can easily make it worse," he argued. "Michael you need to stop and think sometimes."

"I think there's nothing worse she can do, she practically took the most important thing away from me! What's next?"

"We're late," he then changed the subject. He checked his phone and gathered his belongings. He drank his last cup of coffee before getting up to put the mug in the sink. The sink was piling with heavy loads of dishes. I've been slacking on household chores ever since I came back to the house. I never had the time to actually push myself to clean. I've been so stressed lately, I don't even have time to sleep, eat or clean up myself. I'm not feeling the same way I've felt, I feel like pure shit. It's like every other second or minute there's always something new to worry about. Its almost getting to the point where I need medication to stay on my two feet.

"When was the last time you washed those dishes man?" Louis said with disgust.

"I'll do when I get back," I carelessly said. "We're going to be late for work."

"Are you okay? Like genuinely asking? I'm concerned for you, I can help with anything—"

"I'll be fine." I gave him my final words before storming off to the door. I waited for him to come out the house so I could lock it.

For the first time, I arrived to work early. Honestly with the amount of energy I'm lacking, it should've been best to stay home. I would've gotten the rest I deserve and also I would've avoided seeing her face. I still can't believe she managed to withhold a job just so she can have the advantage to get closer to me. Speaking of the devil.