My Mom's Personal Diary ✔️(Complete)

59.

SHIFA'S POV :

After coming back from Ramisha aapi's engagement I was in the pool of mixed emotions. Pain, happiness, fear, sorrow, jealousy, anger and regret were present in my heart.

Pain for myself and my heart...

Happiness that I saw Faraz and he was sitting beside me

Fear for any issue created by Rani phuppo

Sorrow because even after my wish I couldn't talk to Faraz

Regrets for my wrong decision, I should talk to him I'm shouldn't be timid

Anger on Rani phuppo to be a reason of all the misunderstandings

And.....

Jealousy.... For the first time in my life I was feeling jealous of someone... And that someone was Ramisha aapi. Her mother created so many problems but she was getting everything. When the function was over I was in her room and she was talking to her fiance on call, her smile and small chuckles were making me realise about the happiness of her heart and broken state of my heart. Then after sometime Rani phuppo came inside the room and hugged her daughter. She didn't though for a single moment that mummy never did wrong with her. Even she loved Ramisha aapi as a daughter then why Phuppo did that with me.

Leaving away my thoughts I made myself stand and approached to bathroom to change my clothes.

After taking a shower or said that after crying under shower I changed myself in comfortable suit and stepped out from the bathroom. Spreading prayer mat on the floor I made myself prepare for isha namaz.

After completing Namaz I started dua and few tears appeared in my eyes when I placed my head on floor for sajda (Prostration). "Ya Allah please give me Faraz.. Please... I don't want anyone else, I don't want to do anything which make can give anyone a chance to say that my mummy haven't raise me in good way but at the same time I want Faraz too... Please please do something, you can do everything... Do somethi..." I busy in my prayer when someone entered in the room and I suddenly raised my head from the position of Prostration. That was mummy.

"Shifa why are you crying babu?" Mummy asked and hurriedly wiped my tears and shook my head with a fake smile. Breaking the chain of prayer I stood up then folded the prayer mat and scoot in the bathroom to wash my face and hide my tears.

When I came out, mummy was sitting on the bed. "Shifa come here" she ordered me and I sat down beside her with a well acted smile but I was btill sniffing due to crying.

"Why are you crying? Beta I know you have many problems but at least you can share with me, don't hide everything inside you" She said and I smiled more.

"I don't have any problem" I said and she embraced me after kissing my forehead.

"Tell me the reason of your tears" Mummy asked and I try to hide my emotions, I didn't want to share anything with her because he would take stress and one more time I would become the reason of her pain.

"Mummy Shariq bhai made my fun that's why I was crying" I lied and mummy break the hug.

"No Shifa... This is not first time when Shariq did so, tell me the truth"

Why its impossible to hide anything from mother? How a mother can understands the feelings of their children without saying anything....

"Mummy papa gave gold bracelet to Ramisha Aapi but he never gave me anything" I again placed a new reason in front of mummy and that worked...