His Reasons (Todoroki X OC)

S4 Chapter 15

Feeling the breeze blow past him, Deku sighed loudly as he rested his arm on the railing of Sir Nighteye's agency, now overlooking from the rooftop in anxiety. He knew everyone inside was trying to reassure him about Amari, but yet the boy still felt like what happened was on some level, his fault.

He remembered the scars and burns lining the blonde girl's back, the words she told him before she willingly leapt into those villains hands. Deku didn't know much about her story but he could tell even from those small interactions that Mari-chan had been through hell and back because of her past. For so long she was hurting and he didn't have a clue.

And now, she was suffering all over again but the worst part was, even though he was now aware of her struggles, he couldn't do anything. She was probably really hurting right now and they were at a loss of words, and at a loss with any sort of plan. It was tearing the green haired boy apart just thinking about it. That's why he had to get away, away from his guilt and fear.

He was knocked out of his thoughts though when the door behind him suddenly opened and Deku quickly wiped his lingering tears before greeting the voice after recognizing who it belonged to. "O-Oh I'm sorry Todoroki. I was just..."

Todoroki noticed his friend's puffy red cheeks and his eyes softened, realizing why he was up here. "Are you alright Midoryia? You seemed upset and I was worried."

Giving a half hearted smile, Deku tried to answer cheerfully but found it hard given the circumstances. "Oh uh yeah. I'm okay. Sorry, I guess I'm just frustrated in myself."

Just then, the boy remembered something and quickly bowed his head towards Todoroki in desperation for forgiveness. "I'm so sorry about not being about to tell you about Mari-chan Todoroki! I was told not to but now she's hurt and terrified and all alone and I can't do anything and it's all my fault. I told myself that I would protect her this time but now she's gone and I...I..."

The tears started again as Todoroki put a hand up to stop the boy's constant rambling, his voice firm and plain. "Midoryia, none of this is your fault. You couldn't predict this outcome. Besides, I shouldn't have pushed you to disregard your orders from the agency. I apologize for that."

Deku sniffled twice before nodding his head lightly. "I know but I've been so blind to her this whole time. Mari-chan's been hurting for so long right under my nose and I had no idea. The things Kacchan said to her for so long, the way she would push herself to the edge of death, her pills, I noticed them but I never once tried to help. But now, it doesn't matter if I know. I still failed, and now she's right back where she started, being abused by villains. What kind of hero am I to let that happen again?"

An air of silence appeared then as Deku looked towards his friend before whispering back quietly. "But you knew this entire time, didn't you? That's why you two are so close now, right?"

Todoroki's eyes fell then, now taking a step closer to the boy before replying. "Yes, I've known since our combat training exercise at the start of the year. Although, you shouldn't feel responsible for her actions. In the past, Amari didn't like to speak about her experiences so openly. It's only now that she feels confident enough to share them with others."

The words stuck in Deku's mind as he thought about the meaning behind them. It was true, back at the start of the year Amari was a very closed off person but something within her had changed ever since she started hanging around with Todoroki. It all made sense now, how their relationship was so strong.

A small smile appeared on the boy's face, realizing what Todoroki's statement had just meant. "I think that's because of you Todoroki. You must have really helped her. I just wish, I could've been there for her as well."