And You And I

Chapter 39: Your Possible past

Kim closed her bedroom door and turned out the overhead light. In the semi-dark of the early night, she crossed over to her spacious double bed and deliberately placed Pandaroo down within arm's reach on the nightstand. She had a bad feeling she would probably need the Cuddle Buddy sooner or later. Dressed in light lilac pyjama trousers and a matching vest, she lay down, rested her head atop the centralised pillows and shut her eyes. Ok, so where the hell do I start? So much had happened since she'd woken up at five-thirty that morning, yet despite having saved the world from Dr Drakken yet again and gotten one serious workout in the process, she did not feel tired. However, after having eaten her Chinese food, she'd left Ru-Ru on the sofa to watch TV and stuff himself full of the snacks she had procured from the kitchen cupboard, told him she was going to bed and to disturb her at his peril.

Ok, so I've now got a naked-mole-shark living it up in my living room, but that can wait until tomorrow. As for GJ, I've probably pissed Betty off no end and certainly haven't heard the last of this. But until such a time as she plays another card, I can't do anything about it except refuse to entertain missions from them. Heh, bet she won't like that one bit. She shook her head. Seriously, Kim, haven't Betty and Ru-Ru stalled you enough already? she admonished internally. You're going to have to deal with thee issue sooner or later. She felt her heart rate hitch up a notch and her breathing become slightly erratic as she received a flash of her and Shego kissing inside the volcano lair. For fuck sake, Kim, get a hold of yourself. Aren't you the one who only a few hours ago was politely reminding the head of Global Justice that you can do anything? Yet you're already getting yourself all worked up over the slightest reminder of what happened. Even though the thought crossed her mind, it did little to help matters. And despite what she might want to believe, deep down, Kim knew she was scared. Scared of what had happened back in the volcano lair between herself and Shego. Scared of how right it had felt. Of what it meant for her sexuality and scared of...

"You don't have to be scared, Kimmie."

Internally, Kim turned her head to see Shego standing behind her. However, unlike the previous instances when her rival had appeared inside her head of late, she did not feel an immediate torrent of anger towards her. Shego, she whispered.

"That's my name, don't wear it out," the green-skinned woman replied with a grin. "So, finally ready to have that little chat about how you like girls?"

She opened her mouth to say... yes, but the word caught in her throat.

"It's ok, Kimmie. You can do it. Just say it with me, I like girls," Shego coaxed and like the real thing earlier that day, her voice, while playful, lacked even the slightest hint of mockery.

I... I... I like... again she struggled to finish. I like...

Images of everyone she had ever loved or respected flashed through her mind and brought with them a singular crushing message, "you like boys."

Anguish written across her face, Kim almost broke down into tears as she uttered, in a voice akin to the echo of a ghostly whisper, the mantra that had been imposed upon her by family, friends, schooling and society, ...I like boys.

"She likes boys!" the roar of the Barkin-Dragon echoed around them as it staggered onto the scene, however, it sounded hoarse almost like it was ill.

"Urgh, seriously, Kimmie?" Shego declared as she rolled her eyes. "I thought I gave Stevie-boy the boot earlier today?"

While she was distracted, the Barkin-dragon lunged at the green-skinned woman and so she was forced to dive out of the way of the somewhat laboured attack. "She likes boys!"