Memories That DON'T Fade like Photographs(ALL TIME LOW)

Chapter 3

I yawn, attempting to stay awake in my dumb World history class. My binder sitting out on the desk in front of me, pencil in hand, head propped on the other.

the teacher stood at the chalkboard writing notes I should be copying and rambling about the Egyptians, something I should be listening too.

This teacher just sucked whatever life there was left in history, right out of it. Not to mention, he never paid attention to the class,

he had his back turned around to face us 98% of the time that meant, more time for people to throw things at me.

I was a sitting target to people, for anything. Chewed gum, crumbled up paper, wrappers, and once in a while a bottle. I’d be poked, pinched and kicked by the people surrounding me, who now made it obvious it was them who did it.

Everyone knows I won’t fight back, I won’t yell, cause I’m scared of everyone here, I don’t have a voice for myself. I’m weak. A push over, easy to pick on.

I look like I ignore it to everyone when really, I remember every little thing, every single person does or says to me.

It’s sad really, you’d think by now I would’ve had a mental break down, or gone to worse harsh life or death matters, but really I haven’t, I used to self-harm, but that sort of stopped after too much of it.

Now I just do whatever hurts, I smash my arms and legs on stuff until it throbs. I did my nails into my skin. Anything that causes pain, I do, well not everything…. But the pain is something that takes my mind off the bullying.

I’ve gotten better at not hurting myself anymore, I haven’t in a while, if I feel the need to, I listen to music or go for a run on the treadmill in the basement. Believe me; running on a treadmill will do you wonders.

It feels like your running off everything, all your anger, all your insecurities, and all that fat on your body. It might leave you tired, sweaty and smelly, but you feel great, you feel better afterwords, I’m dead serious, that’s why I go for runs.

Combed my fingers through my hair and pulled out the 3rd gum wrapper today. The wrapper landing on the floor with the other things thrown at me and I kept my eyes forward. I gave up on trying to figure out who did it because everyone behind me aims for me.

When the teachers not looking everyone in front of me turns around and aims, even the nerd of the school does, he literally puts his pencil down, fixes his glasses then rips off some paper and aim at my head. Sad isn’t it?

The phone to the classroom rang, making most student jump. The teacher put down the chalk and walked to the phone, I started writing down what was on the board, telling myself that I will study it all later. Even though I probably won’t.

I end up doing one of the things I usually do when I go home, shower then bed, or go for a run, shower then bed. And when I say bed that can be split into groups. One being I lay and think or read or whatever else until I fall asleep.

Another being I actually go to sleep. Or another my mom actually makes supper for once and brings it to me, or I’m actually hungry for once and go get something and bring it up. It changes once in a while.

The teacher hung up the phone reaching for the stack of passes on his desk, signaling someone was called to one of the offices. I finished up the one note I was on and was going to the next when the teacher spoke to me in front of the whole class.

“Jayden, your wanted at the nurse, she’s going to check out your lice.” Boy was I angry, I wanted to scream at the teacher but that would give me detention, not like my mom would care anyway.

I slammed my binder closed as the class busted out laughing. “I. don’t. Have lice.” I said through gritted teeth. I grabbed my bag and stuffed my binder into it. Then proceeded to the front of the room where the hard hearing old man stood holding out the pass for me.

I grabbed it and stomped out of the loud room and into the hallway. I knew there would be a rumor about me having lice like earlier but I’d never expect to be called to the nurse about it. It’s a dumb rumor!

I contemplated skipping out on the nurse and just going to hide In the bathroom the rest of the period, but my feet said otherwise, taking me straight to the nurses office. I stood outside the door and breathed deeply.  Trying to calm myself.

I pushed on the handle and walked in, taking a seat in one of the chairs. The room was empty and the walls plain white. The whole room was white. It felt like a hospital. I don’t like hospitals. They scare me.

The nurse walked out of her office and smiled warmly at me. Her white outfit blending her into the wall, even her hair was white. “How can I help you” I stood up and handed her the pass. She read over it and then motioned me to follow her.

“Don’t worry Jayden, it’s alright to have lice, we can get rid of it over time” she said over her shoulder walking into another room. “But I don’t have lice, it’s a dumb rumor.” I corrected her and she stopped and turned to me

. “But I was told you have it.” She said dumbfounded. “It’s a lie.” She sighed, almost like a sigh of relief. “Fine you can go then.” She handed me back the pass and I walked out of the office emotionless.

This would be the part in the movie where I would say ‘could this day get any worse?’ but I already know the answer and that’s ‘yes’ they day can and will get worse,

it does every day. I’ve never had once decent day since I moved here to Baltimore. And when I turn 18 I plan on leaving for good.

I didn’t go back to class. There was 13 minutes left, I walked the hallways. I walked as slow as I could, holding my pass in my hand, so I wouldn’t get in trouble and wanted so badly just to leave.

Walking down the thankfully empty hall I decided today was going to be one of those days I go for a run. Too much crap has happened to me, actually the usual, but, Kyle just added the icing on the cake.

I seriously don’t know how I have been handling all of this so well for so long, I look fine on the outside, but on the inside its eating at me, very, very slowly. It’s not even to the point of a breakdown.

I stopped and looked at the clock. 9 minutes. I looked around and walked into the girls bathroom in front of me, stepping back to look at the sign on the door incase. I’ve done it before; on accident, and sometimes forced, going into the men’s bathroom.

It’s nothing bad really, it’s just, people laugh at you if you do it. No matter if it was your fault or not. People laugh at your failures, at your face, at your voice, at your body, at any flaw they can find on you, they laugh.

It pisses me off how some people can be heartless enough to bully, to be mean to someone else, to laugh at someone else. It doesn’t make sense; they go around saying there the nicest people in the world, right after they push the outcast and call them a loser.

They stand there and bully you when really they wouldn’t like it if they were being bullied. Some people say, others bully for the adrenaline rush of just doing it. Some say they bully because they were bullied.

Either way, it’s not right. It can literally kill someone. I’m sick of the bullying. I have contemplated death, but I’m not willing to do it.

I have so much I want to do, so much I want to see yet in this world. And I only have one life, and I’m not going to end it because 90% of the school makes my life miserable. No.

I’m gonna stick through it, graduate, and do what I want to do in life. 

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HEY guys! thanks for the positve feed back, makes me feel really happy. even if i dont reply to you, don't worry, i have read your message! also ATL should be showing up soon enough in the story dont wory!