Memories That DON'T Fade like Photographs(ALL TIME LOW)

Chapter 4

lets bring in some 'new' characters huh? 

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Even people with the shit-iest life, luck, whatever can find an escape. Something to calm them down, to help keep them sane, maybe not so normal, but calm. That thing they turn to in time of need. Or when there angry or upset or scared or lonely.

 Sometimes it’s a person, sometimes it’s a certain place, maybe a book to take them off to another world and to be another person. A hobby, even a pet. Anything.

That escape for me is music.

Music can do wonders. Especially for me that’s why I never go anywhere without it. I always have something to listen to.  If I don’t have something to listen too, I go out and I find it so I can listen.

You’ve ever had those moments that you didn’t want to be somewhere or in some situation and you weren’t able to pull your headphones out, so you just sang a song that means a lot to you in your head?

I do that quite a lot in school, mostly in the middle of class. It helps, but believe me it’s the worst when you don’t even realize your singing under your breath and some one hears you. I’m still taunted about it to this day.

That happened 2 years ago. People don’t forget things that easily. Obviously. Considering I’ve had the same people in my classes every year since I moved here, even the person who caught me singing a song to myself.

I’m very careful now, I make sure that when I sing a song in my head, I cover my mouth somehow to keep it shut.

Another thing I tend to do is daydream, stare into space, imagine to myself somewhere else. Everyone does that once in a while, it works until the teacher calls on you and it throws you off guard or you find out your staring straight at someone.

 Then your accused  of liking that person by others, Boys or girls. And that’s how you get crude nick-names that you don’t want. I’m known around the school as the weird Bi emo girl. Not the best nick-name. I seriously don’t think anyone knows my real name.

Even the teachers, but they just say, ‘Hey girl!’ or ‘Miss’ teachers being the only people in this school who don’t taunt me, they don’t talk to me, but they don’t taunt me.

‘But everyone has got to face down the demons, maybe today, you can put the past away.’ I sang Jumper by Third eye blind in my head. Bobbing my head slightly in English class the same day I was called to the nurse’s office.  Thankfully I sat in the very back of the room. So I really wasn’t a sitting target in this class.

As usual the teacher was sitting at her desk on her phone, tapping her long fake nails on the desk in front of her, on the edge of her seat, she sat on the phone with another person. This teacher was at least 39 but she acted 18. She dressed 18. She in short skirts and revealing tops. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

We never did anything but sit in that class, once in a while she might give us an English book and a big project to hand in, in a few days but that’s it, she’s never actually stood in front of the class and taught us anything, besides the first day of school and mentioning her name, barely.

I sat listening to my music and chipping off the black nail polish I had put on my bitten nails the night before. The paint never lasted on my fingers, it always came off, weather I peeled it off from nerves or anger or it came off because of washing my hands.

I pulled out my ear buds when the door to the room clicked open. I pulled out my notebook form my bag and sat it on the desk as whoever walked in got the attention of the teacher and talked to her.