All The Small Things

12

Luca POV

I heard Dady groan and he sounded really annoyed.. I just shut up.
"I'll just pick then!" He exclaimed, sounding pissed. I tensed up and started chewing the inside of my mouth. It'd be better if I stopped talking.. I leaned my head against the window, feeling tears well up in my eyes. I shifted my feet while trying not to make any noise. Dady reached over and turned on the radio, breaking the awkward silence. I shifted in my seat and sniffled a little.

"Please stop that!" He shouted, scaring me bad. I felt my heart start beating much, much faster and wiped my tears, forcing myself from little space. I stopped moving my body and sat up in my seat. He sighed and just kept driving. The entire rest of the car ride, I sat still and didn't talk. The only time I looked up from my lap was when Kayden slammed on the breaks at a stop light, on the way home, almost running it. I felt so on edge, that my head snapped up and I grabbed the dashboard hard.

He didn't say anything either, even after we got to his house. He grabbed the food and opened his car door, getting out and slamming it shut. I flinched and hurried to get out of the car, gently shutting my door. He walked into the house and I hurried after him. He stared at me until I got into the house and he shut it hard before throwing the food on the kitchen table and storming off to his bedroom. I stood in the kitchen, shaking and scared while I tried to delay any tears falling down my face. What am I supposed to do..? I don't wanna stand here and be left all by myself, but I also don't wanna go into his room.. He was really mad at me. I didn't even know what to do, I just wanted to smoke something but my stuff was all in Kaydens room.

I waited in the kitchen for a few minutes until Kayden stormed out of his room and into the bathroom. Now I could get them if I wanted too.. Fuck it, I need something to do. I hurried into his bedroom, grabbing my cigarettes and lighter off the edge of his dresser and quickly walked back out. I shoved them into my pants pockets and walked out onto the front patio, gently shutting the house door behind me. I pulled them out of my pocket, and opened the pack. I frowned when I saw half the pack was empty. With a shaky hand I put a cigarette to my lips, and lit the end of it. I took a long drag before slowly blowing it out. I tossed the pack and lighter down, moving to sit criss-cross, and putting my head in my hands.

"Fuck me.. Fuck my whole life." I mumbled, feeling so empty and defeated. Tears slowly rolled down my face while I continued to smoke. I felt a pang in my stomach, remembering I've still not eaten.
"Doesn't fucking matter.." I said quietly, taking another drag from my cigarette. I heard the door open and I turned my head to see Kaydens roommate, Marcus, walk out. He just kept walking until he realized I was out here.
"What're you doing out here?" He asked, seaming confused.
"Kaydens pissed.." I mumbled, flicking the ashes of the cigarette into the grass and taking one last hit before it was done.

He nodded a little and sat down next to me.
"What happened?" He asked, leaning back on his hands. I wiped my face from the tears and put the cigarette butt back into my pack of full ones since I didn't have anywhere else to put it.
"I mean, he made me lunch and I tried to eat it but I ended up gagging and couldn't but he really wanted me to." I started, Marcus nodding every so often in responce.

"H-he wanted to get me something I would eat and went with me into town to get something but.. um.. when he asked if I wanted to eat out or get something from the store I didn't know if he really was okay with that and.. I asked him but he just got mad.." I continued, having to stop to try and calm my breathing down. Marcus just waited patiently for me to continue.

"A-and when he got mad I just shut up.. B-but I was fidgeting with my feet to try and distract me a-and he yelled at me to stop.. so I did but he's been mad ever since and I didn't know what else to do," I said, wanting to grab another cigarette but I know it would be rude to smoke right next to Marcus. He just sighed and was silent for a second.
"I'm sorry man.. but, why did it scare you so bad?" He questioned, crossing his legs and siting up.

"Well, since I was really young, probably like 4 to 6, m-my parents didn't really act like parents should.." I explained, not exactly wanting to tell him but at the same time, I'd rather him know than think I'm a little bitch. Marcus seemed intrigued in my story though, so I kept going.
"Um.. they didn't really talk to me unless it was to yell at me and after they.. um.. They would beat me I guess." I said. It felt uncomfy to say it out loud..
"A-and I guess the whole eating problems things kinda stemmed from how they didn't really have food around.. so I didnt eat often.." I said, trying not to start crying again.

Marcus pulled me into a quick hug, catching my by surprise. I hugged back for a second before he pulled away.
"I'll talk to him." He said standing up and turning to the door. Before I could tell him it was okay and he didn't need to do that, he walked inside. I sighed and reached over, grabbing another cigarette from my package and lighting it. I felt my nerves slightly settle and looked out at the lawn, letting my mind wander. Or that was until I heard the front door open again. I assumed it was Marcus, coming to tell me he couldn't get Kayden to talk to me so I didn't turn around. Then Kayden sat down next to me.

"Baby.." He mumbled, sounding like he had been crying. I turned to face him and put out my cigarette, only having smoked half of it. I sat it with the rest of my stuff and sniffled once.
"I'm s-sorry baby..!" He exclaimed, his nose and under eyes a little red. I cautiously reached out for him and he quickly pulled me into his lap and rocking me.
"I-im so sorry, Bubbas. I-I just got mad and I blew it out of proportion." Kayden said, rubbing my back. I held him close and kissed his cheek.
"I would kiss your lips but I taste like nicotine.." I mumbled, giggling a little.
"I don't care." He said, moving his head a little and kissing my lips gently.

I softly kissed him back for a bit before pulling away. He smiled and stood up with me. I reached for my stuff as he stood up. He frowned a little but picked it up and carried me in.