All The Small Things

121

[Luca POV]
I clung onto my stuffie, trying to calm myself a bit, until there was a knock on the front door. I jumped a little, hot tears streaming down my cheeks once again. What if it's Kayden...? I breathed heavy, clutching Oliver to me and pulling myself up from the floor. I shakily walked to the door, peeking through the peep hole while holding my breath. It was just Spade. I unlocked and threw open the door as fast as I could with my hands shaking so severely.
"Honey -" He started before I shoved myself into his arms.
"Shhhh... Breathe in," He softly guided me, gently shutting the door behind him. "There you go... You're such a big boy, I know you can do it,"

He pulled me into his lap on the couch, rubbing my back and soothing me.
"Are you ready for Dady to get back?" He asked after I mostly quit crying. It had reduced to tears occasionally streaming down my face while I held and clung onto Spade.
"Papa..." I whispered. I think I'm subconsciously reverting back to calling him Papa more since I keep thinking about Kayden. Not because I want him to be my dady again, but just because I used to call him Dady.
"Papa's gonna be home soon," He reassured me, slipping his hand up my shirt while scratching my back. Normally, I would've loved it. But right then, it was just triggering me.
"Mmm..." I whined, arching my back away from his hand.
"Sorry, Bubba. You don't want me to do that?" He asked as he was already moving his hand up to my head.
"No today..." I mumbled.
"That's okay. You just gotta tell me when you want me to quit something, okay?" He encouraged me.

He ended up turning a show on until he checked his phone's time. I peeked at it, but I couldn't figure out how to read it.
"Well, your Dady isn't home yet, so I'm gonna find you dinner," Spade declared, gently moving me off him so he could go look. The longer he looked, the more I started to spiral. What if he isn't coming home tonight? Does he like somebody else? What if this is like when my momma wouldn't come home? Am I forcing Spade to do something he doesn't want to? I don't want him to think he has to be here and hate me from now on. When I started crying again, I felt stupid. I held Oliver close to me and shut my eyes, burying my head in the couch. As I laid there, memories of Kayden started to replay in my mind. Mostly of that day. I could feel it. I could smell it. I was reliving it.

' "No, no, Dady, stop it!" I wailed as he grabbed my hair. He pushed me onto the couch and started pulling at my sweatpants." '

'He grabbed my hand and yanked me up, forcing me back to reality. He pulled me onto my feet, my pants still off, and pushed me over to Jacob.'

' "No, no, Papa!" I shouted, trying to shake him. I kept shaking him by the shoulders until Kayden yanked me by the hair closer to him. Papa's penis is out, and I know he's gonna make me do something to it. '

[Jacob POV]
When I got home and opened the front door, Luca had his head buried in the couch, and Spade was sitting on the floor next to him. I figured he was just super sad, but then he didn't look when I opened the door or when Spade touched him. I didn't bother to shut the front door behind me. Just pulled off my shoes.
"Luca, Dady's here," Spade said, scratching the little boys head. He shot up and looked past me first. Then he made eye contact with me.
"Papa!" He sobbed. I scooped him up in my arms, shushing him and trying to calm him down. I think when Spade said 'dady', Luca thought he was talking about Kayden. I sat down with him right next to the door since that's where I had been standing. My god, I hope he recovers from this fast.

Luca's breathing was getting to the point that he sounded like he was going to pass out and vomit. He wouldn't let me go and started sobbing if I was quiet for too long. So, I resorted to humming until he could soothe himself enough to breathe. I did help, though. Don't get me wrong. But it distracted him more when the kitty that hangs around outside our door pranced into the living room.
"Shhhh, Bubba. You see the kitty?" I softly asked, making him nod a little. The cat rubbed up against Luca, purring.
"She really likes you. You can pet her, baby," I encouraged him. I looked over at Spade and saw he was just watching. I shrugged as a way to say, 'You could leave if you want'. He understood and nodded since Luca was calming down now.
"I'll see you later, okay Lukie? I love you," Spade said, getting a small nod from him. He's focusing on the kitty in his lap.
"I love you too, Jacob," He added, pushing my hair out off my forehead.

He soon enough quit crying completely and just wanted to sit in my lap, so I obviously let him. Spade shut the front door behind him and let the cat out, so I sat on the couch and just pulled Luca into my lap. His head rested against my chest while I found something to put on.
"Cold..." He whispered, shivering a bit.
"Aww, well, I can't have that," I mumbled as I pulled a throw blanket over him. He softly rocked himself to the music that was playing, and I didn't listen to the lyrics being sang. We were playing it from YouTube music, and we signed into Luca's on the TV since he remembered his password.
"Do you wanna talk about your nightmare..?" I asked, rubbing his back.
"Mmm..." He whined before starting to explain what it entailed.
"I-it was 'membering what he did to me..." Luca explained, sniffling a little.
"He's not here, Baby. Just your favorite person ever," I said, smiling a little. He giggled and sniffled before agreeing with me.