All The Small Things

156

[Jacob POV]
When I got there to pick up Luca, Carter seemed genuinely relieved to see me.
"Yeah, come in," He told me, so I did.
"What's up?" I asked, hoping he wasn't too upset he had to deal with my fiance.
"He's a crier. And a loud one at that," Carter commented, smiling a bit.
"Oh yeah," I quickly agreed, "That's why I left so quick this morning."
"He was still sleeping a couple of minutes ago, but it took him a while to get there. It was just definitely a long day for him," He informed me.
"Yeah, I bet. I'll get him then and let you have a little while to de-stress. Cause I know how overwhelming he can get," I said before stepping past him and into the living room. He was passed out, his hair in his face, and tear streaks on his cheeks. I noticed the two other littles, one being the same girl from this morning, but they really didn't change how I woke him up.

I kneeled down and brushed his hair out of his face before gently shaking him by the shoulder. He shifted before opening his eyes. Once it clicked in his brain that I was here to pick him up, he instantly stood up. Which left him visibly dizzy.
"Woah, hang on," I advised him, quickly gripping him by the waist and watching him rapidly blink for a little while.
"Dady," Luca quietly mumbled as I stood up.
"Hi. Can you grab your blanket?" I gently asked, thanking him when he did so.
"Up...?" He whispered, making me sigh.
"Can you wait a little bit?" I asked, hoping to give my arms a break.
"No," He answered, and I figured he was telling the truth.
"Please?" I desperately asked, finally getting him to nod. Carter stepped next to me and handed me his backpack, which I took and briefly thanked him for.
"I'll see you on Wendsday," I mumbled, holding my hand out silently for Luca to grab onto. He automatically did before I led him out to the truck. I opened his side door without saying anything, shutting it after his legs were safely in, and got in my own side.

"In the middle of me, driving. We were pulling past a Kroger when he suddenly started quietly crying. At first, I couldn't hear him over the radio. But when he got a little louder, I told him to hang on before flipping my turn signal on. I parked in one of the first empty spaces and unbuckled his seatbelt for him.
"Okay, baby. Come here," I said, not even finished with my sentence by the time he was in my lap. Luca's head was rested on top of my shoulder, and I could tell he put his thumb in his mouth because when he cried for me, it was more slurred than normal.
"Shhh. Baby, what's wrong?" I asked. I figured it wasn't something that happened today, considering how he started crying in the truck almost 20 minutes into the drive home.

"Momma," He whined as I rubbed up his back, feeling his spine because of how he was sitting. He had mostly stopped crying by now, but he wasn't in a better mood by anyone's definition.
"Baby..." I whispered, unsure of how to help him. It honestly made me feel really useless. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to help comfort my fiance, regardless of the reason he's upset.
"I know you're feeling a lot," I mumbled, continuing to rub his back.
"Can you talk to me about it?" I asked, making him sit up instead of leaning on me. I know he's little right now, but even if his vocabulary is 'dumbed down', I can still get a little more understanding of what he's feeling.
"I-I miss her, but I don't at the same time," He tried to explain.
"Is it confusing?" I asked, getting a nod from him.

I think what he's struggling to express is that even though he didn't like what she did to him and how she acted, he still loved her and wished she was living. So that maybe she'd could change and recover.
"You cried a lot today. Do you need water?" I asked. He nodded again.
"Shoes..." Luca whispered, climbing off my lap and grabbing his boots from the floor of the passenger seat.
"Do you need Daddy's help?" I asked before he zipped them.
"Ya..." He whispered, so I leaned over and pulled up both zippers before fixing his pants' legs.

"You gotta hold my hand," I reminded him after I helped him out of the truck. He grabbed my hand without saying anything, following me across the parking lot and into the store.
"You wanna get dinner while we're here?" I offered after I grabbed a water bottle for him. He shrugged, which I didn't lecture him about. He's emotionally distancing himself. Probably because of the funeral I have to take him to tomorrow. Since the funeral is on Tuesday, tomorrow, I would rather have been able to be off and comfort him. But since Calvin wouldn't let me have the day off, I have to send him to Carter's.
"What are you hungry for?" I asked, rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand. I wasn't surprised when he barely shrugged, so I just got a frozen pizza. I paid and walked outside the store with him.
"Hold on," I told him, letting go of his hand and fishing my keys out of my back pocket.