Far Away

18

"Wakey, wakey!" My mom sing-songed, pulling my curtains to the side and exposing me to harsh sunlight. I already felt nauseous and the burst of light coming from the window wasn't helping the throbbing in my head. I groaned and lifted my sheets over my face in a attempt to shield my eyes from the suns bright rays. "Come on, Macy. You can't lay in bed all day." Mom said, whipping the sheets off of my face. I winced, earning a smile and shrug from my mom. "I told you not to drink too much." 

I groaned again, covering my face with my hands. My mom let out a heavy breath of annoyance then walked out of my room, closing the door behind her. I kept my eyes closed and tried to distract myself from the throbbing in my head and the nausea in my stomach. I tried to recall last night, the memories coming back into my mind all at once. 

I remembered staying with Trevor for most of the night and talking about Harry. I remember completely embarrassing myself by falling face first outside of my house. Just to make sure I checked my elbow to see the scrape still there as proof. For some reason my thoughts raced back to what Trevor told me while we sat in the grass. 

"You don't have to wait for the guy to make the first move."

My eyes shot open and I sat up, wincing at the spinning room. My nausea seemed to pick up as more memories from last night clouded my mind. I felt hot, but cold at the same time. I jumped out of my bed and ran to my washroom. Refusing to get sick I splashed my face with cool water, keeping my eyes closed as I tried to convince myself that I didn't have that conversation with Harry last night. 

No. I was at a party. I didn't even speak to Harry. I went to sleep as soon as I got home. That was just a dream.

I blinked my eyes open and looked at my flushed cheeks, splotched makeup and tangled hair. The mortified expression on my face didn't help my appearance any. I stared at my reflection, my heart beat rising excessively.

"What have you done?" I asked myself, my eyes closing and my fingers rubbing my temples. I remembered my drunken self sitting happily in front of my web cam with Harry smiling at me from the other end. I remembered the narrowing of his brows as I innocently told him that I did, in fact, have feelings for him. I remembered his eerily perplexed expression after I asked him if he had feelings for me back, then how a smile spread over his lips. He probably laughed at me after we ended the Skype call. He probably thinks I'm an idiot for falling for him. 

He was a celebrity. He could date any girl he wanted with a snap of his fingers. I fooled myself by telling him I liked him and ruined whatever friendship we had. He's probably telling the other guys what I said right now and they're all probably laughing their heads off at me. 

"Oh god..." I groaned, not daring to meet my eyes in the mirror. I didn't want to look at myself.

I'm never drinking again. 

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"Pancakes?" Mom asked as I got into the kitchen. I walked with heavy steps, then pulled back a stool and plopped myself on it. "Hungover?" She asked with a knowing smile as she flipped a pancake in the pan. 

I groaned and rested my chin in my hand.

"So, do you want any?" 

"Absolutely not." I said, a look of disgust on my face as I glanced at the pancakes. Food was the last thing I wanted right now.

"Have you gotten sick?" 

"No." I said, shaking my head. 

"Well, if you're feeling nauseous maybe you'd feel better if you..." I tuned out my moms voice as my eyes widened at my phone which sat in front of me on the counter, lighting up with Harry's picture and buzzing insistently.