18 Going On 30 || h.s. au

sixteen

MADDIE'S POV

The rain stopped.

It's serene. It's peaceful. It's quiet.

My mind's not. But it's getting there.

When I slipped out of the hospital room for some air, I was just overwhelmed and needed to clear my head. I didn't expect to end up here.

I'm so grateful my dad is okay I can't even put it into words, that's why I'm overwhelmed. All the tragic scenarios in my mind that had played out against my will have vanished, proven untrue. That teeny tiny sliver of hope I had in me prevailed, but barely.

It's hard to even pinpoint what I'm feeling right now at this moment. The fear of what could've happened still makes me shiver. The relief of seeing him awake is hauntingly comforting, and the grip of desperation onto any rationality I had has relaxed. It's all so contradicting that it just creates a pit in my stomach.

You'd think that having a job that deals with rationalizing emotions would help me decipher my own emotions a little bit, but dealing with your own emotions is so astronomically different than helping someone else deal with theirs.

Wrapping my head around a situation like this- so quickly heightened in fear then brought back down as details were filled in- is a massive feat. It's one step at a time, but I'll get there. I'll be fine. We'll all be fine. We all are fine.

So when Harry and Dad were talking and everyone was finally breathing normally for once, I took the chance to slip out without being noticed.

I went outside of the hospital and started walking, just to move a bit after sitting for so long and for some air that wasn't filled with the sound of steady beeping and the smell of alcohol wipes. I kept walking for a while, and I didn't stop. I think my muscle memory of the area was guiding me as it eventually led me into my parents neighborhood, and to here. I called Addison on the way to fill her in on everything, but even that brief conversation is a bit of a blur.

It's late, the moon is still high in the sky and it's eerily quiet. The water in front of me is still, with the occasional ripple flowing through it ever so delicately. The tree branches above me sway slightly with the small breeze that passes every now and then. The grass is just as fluffy as I remember it being in the summertime.

I haven't been back here in so many years.

This spot is packed full to the brim of memories. Most of them are happy memories, and all of them have Harry in them.

I wasn't expecting to see him behind the door today at all. He was honestly the last thing on my mind in that moment but I never knew how much I actually needed him. He said he came because he cared. He cared? He cares.

He did more than just care. Caring would be calling to check in every once in a while. He literally dropped everything and drove us four hours home, which now that I really think about it, was a good decision because we definitely were not in the state to drive.

He dropped everything, called out of work and stayed at the hospital for hours with us. With me. For me. Why, though? 

I guess I just never realized how willing he was to help. Now that I think about it, when I was sick and he came over is a perfect example. Something else he was under absolutely no obligation to do and I never expected him to do- but he still did it.

He was always like that before- willing to go to great lengths for important people in his life. I guess I could've been considered important once before, all those years ago, but why now? What did I do to deserve that?