Heartbreak Weather | Niall Horan

29

My apartment still smells like her perfume. The faded vanilla scent greets me less than three steps inside, serving as a reminder of what everything was like before. Part of me half expects to walk into my bedroom and find Béa asleep in my bed. But I know that she won't be. The apartment looks the same, as if it had been frozen in time, whilst everything else has completely changed.

Her clothes are still hung in my closet, providing me with a false sense of hope that this isn't the end for us. I can't bring myself to tear my eyes away from the white dress hanging next to my dress shirts. She loves that dress. It was the first thing of hers that she left here, after insisting it needed to be hung up so it wouldn't get wrinkled. Surely she must want it back.

Without even looking, I already know that some of her clothes are still folded in my dresser and there's no doubt in my mind that she left her makeup in my bathroom.

I'm surrounded by painful memories of what once was.

I could use the dress as a reason to call her, to hear her voice, to speak with her once again. But if she wants the dress back and not me, that's the end. There's nothing left to bring us back together again. She'll come over, gather the things she left, and leave my life for good.

But, maybe it could be what brings us back together.

We've both had our much needed time apart. Maybe it's time that we try and work things out.

Even if I did call her, I wouldn't know what to say. It's better to just leave her be.

Everything happened so fast between us, neither of us daring to slow it down. From the time we met to the moment our relationship ended, a matter of months had passed. In those months, she had made me feel ways that none of my other relationships had in years of being together. It felt different with Béa, like it was meant to be that way.

And now, here we are. I haven't spoken to her in months and neither of us have made an effort to change that.

***

The door to my apartment opens and closes with a loud slam and is immediately followed by the sound of Lewis' loud voice.

"It's great to be back in London." He cheerfully shouts, kicking his shoes off next to the door. "Isn't it great?"

"Oh, it's just wonderful." I jeer.

Lewis frowns, "Oi! What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"Sorry." I apologize.

"Still haven't heard from her?" Lewis asks, taking a seat next to me.

I shake my head in response.

Lewis hums, "I'm sure she'll come around."

Maybe she doesn't want to 'come around.' Maybe she's doing better now that we're apart.

"In the meantime, let's go celebrate the end of your first solo tour!" Lewis suggests, getting up from the couch. He reaches out to pull me up with him, but I dodge his attempts.

"Mate, you can't just sit around and mope. Not tonight." He pleads, his stance making him look like an angry mum. His hands are on his hips while he does everything in his power to persuade me to go out, knowing that I'll eventually give in. "What good is going to come from just sitting on the couch? You can be all grumpy and sad after we grab a drink."

He rambles on for what felt like half and hour, while I try to convince myself that staying home is the better option. It's probably the more logical option of the two, but these past few months have been mostly fun nights out. One more won't hurt anything.

One more night and then tomorrow I can figure out how to fix things.

"And if you're worried about her, she's fine. You know she is. Shawn's lookin' after her." He continues, "Which leaves no reason for you to stay home tonight unless you're no longer any fun."

Way to hit the head on the nail.

"Hey!" I shout, "I'm still fun."

"Prove it!" Lewis taunts, waiting for me to inevitably give in.

I don't even have to say anything. Lewis is already cheering and I'm making my way to put my shoes on.

Well, hello there. I've miss you all so much!

I first want to apologize for my absence. At the end of the last chapter I warned everyone that it would be a while and then I followed up with a message board post explaining that it would be even longer. But here it finally is, well part of it. I know I said that this chapter would be the "Small Talk" chapter, but I've decided to split this chapter in half so that I would be able to at least get something published.

Secondly, I want to apologize for how short this chapter is. I just wanted to get an update out.

I don't know how long I'll disappear for again, please refer to my message board post from May 16th for some info on why I'm struggling to write.

Thank you for sticking with me through this. You all mean the absolute world to me. I love you all so much! Mwah!