Burnt Out (Hawks X Reader)

Chapter 8: First Song in Half a Decade

Song: Burnt Out by Leanna Firestone

I do not own any of the tune, melody or lyrics, all credit goes to the original artist, Leanna Firestone

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I had finally finished writing the main piano parts of the song! I couldn't be more excited about this. I was this close to finishing it. Nothing could get in my way now. And this time I mean it. All I had to do was record the sound of a fire burning.

Now where would one find that?

I had already tried just recording the sound a candle makes, but I wasn't able to hear it. I had no idea how I was going to find fire audio, but then I remembered that the internet exists.

So I looked up a fire sound.

When I had finally found one, I overlapped it with the small pit of audio I already had. My plan was to run through the lyrics while playing piano later today to see how that goes.

I would do it right now, but Keigo is currently home. I don't want him to hear it just yet. I still need to make sure it sounds okay.

"Y/n, pleeeeeeeeeeeease."

Oh yeah. Keigo walked in on me playing earlier. I was just about to get to the second verse of the song, but my playing was interrupted by Keigo walking into my door. He would've been able to hear the whole thing if he were careful about where he was walking.

"No," I said firmly. His face fell and he started walking away, flopping face down on the couch.

"Guess I'll just lay here and wait until you start playing." His statement was followed by an over exaggerated sigh.

"Well if you stay here then I won't even touch my keyboard," I said, getting a packet of ramen out of the cupboard. "Don't you have patrol right about now anyways?"

"Nope," Keigo said. "I don't have patrol today unless I need to fill in for someone."

"Well then to be alone for a few minutes, I'm going to the park," I said, abandoning the unopened pack of ramen on the counter. "I'll be back soon."

I walked out of the penthouse, grabbing a light coat on my way out. I put it on and zipped it up, walking into the elevator and pressing the button for the floor below the one I'm on.

I've noticed recently that every time I leave the house alone, Keigo follows me if he has nothing to do. Since he thinks I'm going to the park, he'll be watching me from the top of a roof to make sure nothing happens.

I'm using this to my advantage by pretending to leave so I can go back into the penthouse and make sure my song sounds right. I'll have about 5-10 minutes to finish, if Keigo doesn't notice anything.

after the elevator doors opened, I walked out and took the stairs back to the apartment. I got there just in time to see Keigo become a red blur in the distance.

Smiling to myself, I took off the coat and walked to my room, sitting down at the piano and getting the audio I set up ready. Keigo had gotten me a professional microphone after he found out I had a song ready, so I think I'm good there.

I put the headphones on, making sure the microphone worked by talking into it. It felt weird hearing my own voice through professional equipment, but it's just something I'll have to get used to.

Taking a deep breath, I clicked the recording button and played the audio from my phone. I waited a few beats before playing on the keyboard. A few more beats later, I started singing.

I have never felt as warm as I did
When you touched me, gave me
Goosebumps from head to toe
But a love made of matches
Was destined to burn out
And end up in ashes and smoke

Still embers remained
And I tried to re-ignite them
Ended up playing with fire, again
You pushed me away
And I fought and I stayed
But maybe I should have listened.

Hawks' POV

Something felt off while I was flying, almost like I had been lied to.

Could Y/n have lied to me?

Nah, she would never do that. She's too nice to me.

But something still told me to go back. Maybe this is the sign from the gods I was hoping for. I don't know which gods sent this sign, but I decided to listen to it and turned around.

I landed in my house as quietly as possible. Y/n might be here and I don't want to scare her or anything. I took off my shoes and left them in the middle of the floor, making sure I wouldn't make a sound.

I heard something down the hall, a pretty tune. That told me that Y/n was, indeed, still here and that the sign from the gods was right.

Thank you beings from above. Thank you.

I slowly crept up to Y/n's door, being careful not to make a sound. I cracked it open and listened to what she was playing.

I recognized it as the song she was playing earlier.

Because you're right, I couldn't fix you

You're right, I shouldn't have tried to

Your pride is what you're concerned about?
Is "you're right" really all you wanna hear right now?
Well you're right, I should've walked away faster
Should've known you would only break my heart after
I was already in love
You're right, you aren't good enough

I kissed your scars even after you hurt me
And I held your hand even when you fucking burned me
Do you know how embarrassing that was?
To stay with somebody who hates you because
You hope things get better?
You hope that love can
Turn a monster into a man?

But it doesn't, and it won't
Because you're beyond repair
But there is still someone for me somewhere
Who will treat me so nice
You'll wish that you did
For someone so smart you're so fucking stupid
To think that I'm really that dumb
I love you, but I'm done

Pretending this was gonna work
Pretending loving you didn't hurt
Pretending that it doesn't burn
When you think you're always right

'Cause you're still stuck on your past
You hate him so much but you're just like your dad
You smother every light that I ever had by holding on too tight

And it's suffocating
And I'm longing to breathe again
And in the middle of it all
I ended up losing who I am

And I know that you tried
Gave it all that you had
And being a monster
Doesn't necessarily make you bad

But even if we could
Staple it back together now
We both know you can't relight a fire that's
Already burnt out

A few more notes followed the end of the lyrics. I could tell she was sad—mainly because her voice had cracked on the last word. She pulled her hands away from the keyboard, hanging her head down and bringing them to her face. She let out an irritated groan, bringing her hands down and staring at the wall in front of her.

I decided to step further into her room, sitting next to her on the floor.

She looked at me, doing a double take at the sight of me simply sitting on the floor. Her eyes quickly shifted from me, to her keyboard and back to me again, clearly stunned at my presence.

"Ummmm, hi?" she finally said, lifting a hand to wave.