Burnt Out (Hawks X Reader)

Chapter 14: IDK You Yet

I do not own the song above, all rights go to the original artist, Alexander 23

Song: IDK You Yet by Alexander 23

~~

"So what's this new song of yours about?" Keigo asked. "I heard you play a bit of it yesterday."

We're sitting on the couch, a show playing on the TV that neither of us were paying attention to. I was in some sort of laying position on Keigo, my legs across his lap as he played with the tips of my hair and scrolled through something on his phone.

I had not decided to sit here by choice—not entirely, anyways. Keigo had decided it would be a good idea to literally sweep me off my feet and into his lap when I walked by. I only decided to not move because one, I am simply too lazy, and two, it's actually really comfortable in his lap.

"I thought about what you asked me yesterday, if I would ever find love again," I started explaining. Keigo hummed in response, putting his phone to the side to wrap both arms around me and look me in the eyes. "I decided that it might be ready to open my heart to the possibility of a romantic relationship again. I was thinking about calling it I Don't Know You Yet because I don't know my future lover, but I'm excited to meet them, if that makes sense."

Keigo nodded, some sort of emotion flashing in his eyes. "I like the idea," he said, getting more comfortable to hold me closer against him. "The name's too long, though. Maybe shorten it to IDK You Yet."

I nodded, not really processing his response. It had been a little awkward between us since yesterday, seeing as we almost kissed and that definitely wasn't something either of us expected to happen. I know I felt a little weird being this close to him again, but I didn't mind. He provided the same warmth he has many times before, so all is well.

I yawned, laying my head against his chest and taking a deep breath, inhaling his scent. He had stopped wearing so much of the cologne he used before, embracing the natural scent of earth and rain.

Keigo noticed my tired state and started gently rubbing his hand against my arm. "Are you alright?" he quietly asked.

I nodded into his chest. "Just tired," I responded, yawning again. "I didn't sleep great last night."

"Oh." Keigo moved again, making it to where we were both laying down as horizontally on the couch as we could without falling off. "Go to sleep, songbird. You need your rest."

I tiredly nodded, cuddling back into his torso and letting my eyes close. The steady sound of his heartbeat helped me sleep, the sound replacing the audio of rain I usually play.

It was a calming sound.

~~

A few days later, I was sitting on my bed in front of a mic with my guitar in hand, figuring out how to play what I played a few days ago on the piano.

It's kinda hard.

When I had finally gotten it, I put it all together. I played it until I couldn't get it wrong.

It took a solid two hours.

But when I had finally gotten it, I turned on the mic and started playing the song.

(I'm too lazy to put the lyrics and stuff here, plus I just don't feel like doing that today so. You can play the song if you want but I don't care.)

Keigo had stood in the doorway for the last half of the song, listening intently. He seemed to stare into my soul when I rhetorically asked what color my future significant other's eyes are.

I don't know what to think of it.

I was smiling as I set my guitar next to me, turning off the mic.

"How'd you like the song?" I asked.

He didn't respond, instead staring at me for a minute or so with a small smile on his face, barely noticeable. His eyes took in my figure, looking me up and down as he stepped forward, sitting on the bed next to me.

"It was good," he said. "I liked it."

Silence.

Nothing but an awkward silence.

It was uncomfortable, the tension was so thick I could cut it with a knife. One of those really bad plastic butter knives.

Oh god he has that look on his face again. The same look he had a few days ago when we almost kissed.

Oh dear. He's leaning in again.

Oh my god what am I doing?

Why am I following his lead?

Oh god out noses are touching now.

His eyes are closing.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Help.

Save me.

I don't know what to feel or do.

Our lips just barely brushed each other's when his phone rang. Not mine, his.

Oh my god, how do I keep ending up in places like this?

That's the second time we've almost kissed.

I'm gonna fucking cry (internally, of course).

Why can't we just fucking kiss?

What kind of plot development is this?

Twice now, this has happened twice.

What the hell.

"I have to go," he whispered, his voice slightly hoarse. It was hot as hell. I swear I could've died right then and there if I wanted to.

Without saying anything else, he stood up and walked out of my room, leaving me speechless and confused.

So.

Fucking.

Confused.

What was my thought process a few seconds ago? Did I want him to kiss me? No, that can't be right. I've never seen him like that.

Right?

No, no no no. It's not possible. I've never seen him like that, and I never will. I cant like him, we're just two best friends that do a lot of couple-y things together like sleeping on the couch and holding each other.

Oh my god.

I mean, since the first time we kissed I haven't been able to stop the thought of what it feels like to kiss him from entering my mind. That can't mean anything, right?

Oh my god.

Do I like Keigo?