I'm not a puppy! (age regression)

10. Getting some perspective

I laid stomach down on my bed, kicking my legs up and down and flicked through a new star book Andrew had given me. It had less pictures than the other one, but it was different. There were alot of connect the dots like things but with stars.

Except when I connected the dots with a pen they looked nothing like the little symbols next to them.

The massive amounts of tiny text probably explained why but I didn't bother much with the words. Reading never really worked out for me so I never tried.

I can read, I'm not stupid. It's just not alot, big words are confusing. And lots of words are even more confusing. I just stick with the pictures, they don't disappoint often.

I broke concentration from the book as I felt my thumb poking against my lips. I slapped away the misbehaving body part and immediately winced and let out an embarrassing whimper. I did not intend to have hit it that hard.

I've been feeling weird lately. Weirder than usual. The more time I'm spending here with Andrew, the more I feel like I'm changing.

My head keeps getting all fuzzy and I can't remember things. Like after the dinner last night with Tom, I remember watching TV on the couch. Then my head was just fuzzy and I woke up the next morning in my bed.

And I was all blushy around Andrew this morning. I don't understand why I get like this around him. It's annoying as shit.

I'm always tired and my... my accidents are just getting worse. I don't struggle with the whole protection thing at night anymore. As horrifyingly embarrassing as it is, I know I need them. Andrew still does nightly checks, they've become routine.

I hate them but Andrew is quite reassuring. He's never ever weird about it, and never steps over my boundaries.

He's just so nice, he has a dumb infectious smile and always makes me laugh. But I still feel wrong, I'm changing and I don't like it.

I sat up and cracked my fingers, then looked down at the star book and frowned. Something so simple and stupid shouldn't have excited me. I pushed it angrily off the bed and watched it thump to the ground.

I decided I needed to get out of the house. Get some perspective or something.

It was Saturday morning. Ben usually hangs around with his friends on Saturdays. Maybe I could talk to Ben, he knows more about me than anyone. He'll probably have some answers.

I worried for a second that Andrew wouldn't let me go, he thought Ben's friends were punks. I mean, they are but bens cool, and I wanna see him.

Plus Andrew can't tell me eat what to do! I don't need his permission for anything.

I quickly jumped off the bed, falling alittle but scrambling to my feet, filled with a new sense of confidence. I marched to Andrews office.

I pushed the door open and peered my head around the door.

"Andrew?"
I called out from the door as I stepped in. Andrew was humming to himself at his desk, typing away at something.

He stopped what he was doing though once he heard me and spun around in my chair.
"Hey bambi , whats up. How's that astrology book? Do you like it?"
"Yeah uh, it's cool..."
I fiddled with my fingers before finally spitting out.
"I'm gonna meet up with some friends now... um bye"
I went to walk away, not feeling the want or need to justify myself but he stopped me.
"Hang on-"
I huffed and turned back around, a frown now on my face.
"Who?"
"Ben and some people"
"Where?"
"Skatepark,I know it's close. Its in the park.. we pass by it on the way to the shops"
"Alright. How long?"
"Dunno"