I'm not a puppy! (age regression)

16. The Conversation

"Come on Jam, you need some sleep"
I glared at the ground, pulling at June's ear as tension made my arms move erratically. Andi was one to talk, especially with those dark circles under his eyes.
"No"
I spat at him.

Yesterday was another bad night. I'd once again had a horrible nightmare, soaked through the dumb pullup, wet my stupid bed and ended up in andi's while he took the couch. It was humiliating.

Andi patted my newly cleaned, welcoming looking bed and held his hand out to me.I stepped back trying my best not to look at him.
"Come on bambi, lay down at least"

I could feel that fuzzy head feeling creeping into my brain. It made everything feel bigger, scarier and alot less welcoming.
"No"

I was not going back to sleep. I refused to go back to the nightmares and their... consistent theme. My arm burned at the thought.
They were getting worse, more vivid and intense, too real.

Andi sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Well then sit, and tell me why"
There was no dancing around the subject, Andi was tired and wanted this dealt with.

I was tired too, and begrudgingly schooched forward till I sat next to him, my jaw shut tight and chattering from the tension. Andi noticed, he always does.
"You're gonna hurt your teeth bambi. You can relax its ok"
He placed his hand on my back, in the perfect place and began rubbing circles. The fuzziness spread. I unclenched my jaw enough to utter.
"Not ok"

My voice took a noticeable tone shift, loosing all its harsh venom and softening to a timid bunny squeak. It felt alien but so insanely right for my brain in the moment.

And in spite of his exhaustion Andi remained understanding of me, not getting upset over my vagueness.
"How is it not ok?"
"scared.."
"Why bambi?"
"...am not safe"

Andi paused repositioned his arm to wrap around my shoulders, then asked
"How jam?"
"Theys gonna gets me"
I choked out, not even realising tears were bubbling up.

"Oh jam-"
Andi wiped my tears with his thumb
"-what's trying to get you?"

I looked up, properly making eye contact for the first time, his eyes were full of such care. I nearly told him the truth, but I didn't let the fuzziness win. I lied.
"Ben's friends"
Well I half lied, I was pretty worried about Ben's friends still, but i held back the real thing I was scared of.

Andi thought for a moment, considering what to do as I very casually and very maturely brought June closer into my side for a hug.

It's a good thing I'm very sneaky with June. If Andi saw me holding her outside of sleeping, my repuatation would be ruined.

Andi thought of an idea.
"Jamie, why don't I show you just how safe we are, come on bambi, I swear it'll help"

Andi got up and started walking out of the room, beckoning me to follow him. I kept close, June still hanging cool-ly from my hand.

He brought me down the stairs to the front door, flipping on a standing lamp in the darkness. He pointed to a part of the door.
"You see these bambi, they're locks. When we keep them closed it stops anyone from coming into the house"
He explained carefully but not at all in a condescending way.
He unlocked and locked it up again. That made me feel a bit better, but the front door isn't the only way to get into a house.
"What about the backdoor?