Drifting Thoughts

~yeah lifeeeeee~

Okay yeah so remember how I did that dramatic announcement thing saying how I was deleting wattpad

So I did delete the app from my phone, I did keep it on my iPad though cause like, I don't really use my iPad that much anyway

Yeah so I'm back, the reason why I felt like I needed to delete wattpad was cause I guess there were (still are, let's be real) lots of things in my life stressing me out and I felt kinda bad about I guess not reading everyone's stuff which sounds kinda dumb when I say it but I want to be supportive of you guys even though I don't actually know too many of my followers that well

Anyway yeah so I could probably rant for a lot longer about stuff but I just wanna keep saying some things cause it's therapeutic...

Im worried about work, school, and the future. Immediate and slightly distant. I don't feel like getting into all the details, but lately i feel like the more responsibilities people try to give me the less capable I actually feel to yk do stuff

And then I end up like not doing stuff I want to when I have time to

I mean I for instance have played minecraft for hours instead of idk reading or drawing or whatever and it's fun, like I enjoy it and stuff but

A few years ago I got into this mindset (this was during covid btw) where I was like I gotta do this this this and this and was trying to stay busy cause I felt trapped and crap

I've been saying crap a lot sorry but lately my mind has been really *wheeee cursey cursey cursey* which I also feel bad about cause reasons but like

Literally so many ppl I'm around cuss and I'm not saying...ugh what am I saying

And then like I haven't really listened to music in a while why not? I don't know

Sorry this was long, I honestly could write a lot more but...

Alright well, feel free to stop reading if you want idrc

One thing I did miss about wattpad is just saying stuff I was thinking and connecting with ppl and stuff like that

Oh wait did I put my debit card away

Why did I even bring it to work it's not like I get breaks anymore

Should I ask abt that? Idk

Anyway yeah so I've got this honors thing tommorrow and practice for this thing cause schools almost out and yeah

And i feel kinda bad for asking my friend to drive me home after but I'm lame and don't have my license yet

I don't want people to worry about me yk

I don't want to make other people worry bc of me

Like this whole thing at work with my manager and yeah

And this whole thing about me literally freezing in my tracks cause I didn't pick up the f----->>>>>

The phone

Yeah I know it's irrational and like, sorry Tara.....

Also money and yeah And scholarships and life and people? Friends?

What's coming up, are there things i gotta remember? Yeah well I forgot more things so yeah and then I complain about things that I probably do so yay hypocrite hahahahaha

And then we do be trying to ignore them

~~~~~~~thoughts

But they be like ///////sup imma sneak in yo head\\\\\\\\\\

And for now I can ignore them but I'm scared

That I won't be able to for long

And I'm still real bad about talking to people eg parents about important stuff

also why do I keep getting put at cashier I keep messing up

Maybe not that much but it happens and I do dumb stuff yeah again sorry Tara

(She one of da managers)

She chill tho fr, I just...

Yeee

Also I had this fanfic thing I was gonna write yeah again

We all know how those ideas go

Or just in general

HEY yeah imma do it

Oh wait

Also I gotta return da fdfrjr laptop...er, wait no

Textbook thing but like??

Why do we even have it why what hrrr?

Also the assessment thing and crap and like I didn't ask off for Monday but it's the the the thingy and I know it's important to my class and also this other thing that hEy, guess what, I didn't ask off for so sH-

Shlap schlapity loop de do

Yeah sooooo

Screw life I don't wanna do this

And I had plenty of time.

And then I didn't.

Do

The stuff

F all this

Fudge I mean yeah I told ya my mind be WHEEEEEEEE

gonna actually try to communicate with thr parentals

Sorry for this whole rant thing yeah bye

This was gonna be an announcement but it's too long so yeah