Drifting Thoughts

~fantasies, dreams, and reality~

I have a bunch of assignments--okay, if the past has shown me anything, it's that they really aren't as daunting as I think they are. But, point is, I have at least 3 things I probably should work on today for school. Not to mention I still have to check out a camera or whatever. Cause I absolutely cannot wait until the last minute otherwise I know there won't be any cameras left for me to check out. Plus I heard there's like very few lighting kits...and, of course, I'm gonna have to find someone who will let me take a picture of them. 

For one of them, anyway. There's like, three pictures they want us to take, and I think the first one doesn't have to be a human subject, thankfully. But I'm pretty sure the other two do. And anyway, right now all I'm doing is waiting on my food. So it's not like I could be getting a lot done...

I mean, if I really wanted to I could. But that's not the point. Also, this is totally irrelevant, but the dining place I usually go for meals plays a lot of songs I know/like, which is really cool. Anyway. Right now all I really wanna do is a) play genshin impact b) write fanfiction and c) sleep. Cause I stayed up super late last night. Like, you thought 3:30 was late? Yeah...it was later than that. And then I woke up at ten and barely had time to shower before class. I did the thing again where I just got food after both my classes had ended. 

The thing is, though, there's this thing tonight I probably should go to. Except the last few times I've gone I've been so overwhelmed or...something, and left early. So I don't even know if that's a good idea. I feel like I've gone enough times and left early that it's gonna happen every time. And, I mean, do I really wanna go? 

There's people, and yeah, some of them are nice. But. It still has a lot of potential to be anxiety inducing. I guess that's just life, though. Everything can be anxiety inducing, and is, let's be real. 

But I probably will go, unless I end up falling asleep and sleeping through it, which honestly might happen. Probably not at this point, actually, but you never know. So...I guess now, I'll eat (whenever my order is ready, there's always a bit of a wait here), go back to my room...and maybe, see how I'm feeling then. 

Because I have a lot of assignments due around the same time and I'm not sure which ones to prioritize sometimes, you know? Cause they all need to get done. I think I'll end up writing my journal thing first. I think last time she said the picture I sent of what I wrote was hard to read, but I could have sworn they said they wanted us to handwrite it. I don't even know. So yeah, I'll do that. 

Then, I think I will work on my poster for MART 210 (easier than saying the full name of the class, it's this whole thing). I can use Canva on my iPad or laptop for that. It's what's easiest. Okay. 

I'll work on that for...at least 20 minutes. That sounds reasonable. Then I'll see where we're at. Sound good? I'm mostly talking to myself on paper. If you're reading this you absolutely don't have to answer. 

Then I'll go to the thing, get back, and see how I'm feeling. If I think I can get a little bit of my other assignments done, maybe I'll do that. Oh, I know. I should look over my astronomy notes. I don't know what was going on in class. Something about a parallax, whatever that is. And too much math. But I probably should go to bed early, considering...

And yeah, I'm scared about a lot of things and I still am wondering a lot of the time if there's a point in any of this and stuff like that, and yeah, I mess up a ton, but...I'm still here. That's not nothing. 

Also, I have at least a week to get this stuff done. So, like, chill. Should I wait till the last minute? No. All I'm saying is that I can wait a day or so and it's not the end of the world. 

Alright, enough life stuff. Time for the other stuff that's on my mind. I still sometimes have like random internal dialogue I feel like I should use for a story or something, but I don't write it down. I should start doing that. Also, as I was walking earlier, I was thinking that this whole thing feels like a dream. I was hoping it was, for a moment.