Unattainable Love

CHAPTER-21

SIYA

"Ahhh I am missing him so much" muttering this with some uneasy sensation in my heart, this longing feeling for him making me loose my concentration from everything. It's been 3 days he is away from me for some business trip to London. Each day I spent without his physical presence around me felt like years, I don't know how I got so much attached to him that few days of separation making me feel this vulnerable.

After so many years of miserable life, this one month with aditiya changed my life for good. I experienced every kind of emotions which I always craved for years, with passing time he is filling the void inside me which I literally can feel it now. When I told him what I wanted to do with my friend but in my life I never had one and was alone all the time, so from that weekend onwards he never left me alone, he kind of occupied me with his presence everytime which I really love it but now I am missing those hugs, forehead kisses, cuddles, spending our quality time in our comfort place whenever we were free from our own respective work. The 24/7 of his presence I am so use to of it that now his absence making me go crazy.

These three days, he just use to text me to inform me to have my meals, take my medicines and to sleep on time. I know he is busy but still I can't help me with this wired sensation in my heart feeling from the day he left for London. Past two days I engrossed myself so much into work and sleep to avoid this longing feeling for him, even then I couldn't focus still I forced myself, but today I can't take it anymore, even if I could hear his voice that would be enough for me to feel some kind of ease. I thought to call him every single time but I couldn't because that hesitation didn't allow me to call because everytime I felt he might be busy and that's the reason he too didn't call me. With all this hesitation of mine I made my own condition more worse.

Feeling restless unable to do anything, so I came home early from the office. I got his meal text today also but due to this unwanted irritation I didn't reply and switched off my phone." Kya fayda reply karke kuch baat toh waise bhi nahi horahi, huh" murmuring to my own irritated self went to our room. Yes, from that weekend ownwards I shifted back to his room. Slow and steady steps in order to give this marriage a chance and for us to work out together. Each passing day with him never made me feel that I was wrong to give this marriage a chance.

After an hour I went straight to our comfort room to feel some kind of ease because right now feeling some kind of ease is much needed to calm my uneasiness feeling coiling all over my body, all freshen up wearing his hoddie and my shorts. I sat on the comfy soft bed we made,"aah everything around me just make me miss him more, what's wrong with me" covered myself with a duvet and I rolled myself in a ball, inhaling his scent from the hoddie which I wore to feel him around me. I took the portrait of my mom from the side table which I kept it here when we decorated this room. I brought the portrait close to my chest and starting talking with her " mumma apko toh pata hi hai sabkuch that this whole one month made me realise that how much adi means to me, I never had a single friend because of dad's restriction but he became my first ever friend with whom I experienced so many things which I never got a chance to do in my whole life I existed." By now tears rolling down my cheeks feeling the loneliness again which I hate to feel." Mumma aur pata hai aapke baad agar kisine meri fikar ki hai toh woh adi hai, his concern, his care, his love for me never makes me feel your absence, never in this whole one month felt lonely or low expect for these three days" I cried more when I realised that we gonna complete our one month marriage anniversary tomorrow but he is not here in india making me feel more vulnerable. "Mumma pata hi nahi chala mein adi se itni attached hogayi hun ki uske wager mein aage ka soch hi nahi sakti. Jabki abhi toh mujhe pata hai he is busy with his work still I am feeling this" crying even more having difficulty in breathing so I took my phone from the other side because right  now only he can calm myself. I opened the switch when all the notifications started bombarding with messages, calls from him and few from my assistant julia.

While going through all the texts and messages, I couldn't think of anything right now apart from him and he is not with me making me cry more and more when my phone started flashing his incoming call. As fast I could I picked up the call and to my surprise he bombared with so many questions from the other side of the phone and this side I am crying even more listening his voice making it clear for him to listen." Siya kya hogaya ? What's wrong why are you crying? Why your breathing seems so uneven? Siya reply my baccha? Listening his concern voice from the other side I could only utter" adi.." but couldn't complete because of my uneven breathing due to crying continously. When suddenly the door opens with a thud sounds revealing him infront of me in panic state standing at the entrance of the room.

He almost came running to me and engulfed me in his arms where I felt the ease, comfort  finally "sukoon" after three freaking days but my tears were in no mood to stop today. Inhaling his presence making me feel the cheerful life again. I hugged him so tight and cried the hell out of me making him all tensed. "Siya baccha breathe, calm down mein hun na, just breathe " he said trying to detach me from him so that I could make my breathing stable but stubborn me didn't let him detach instead pulled him more closer" plea..se adi.. mat...ka...riye d..ur... hu...me" I some how manage to utter this in between my cries to which he allowed me to be in the same position. After feeling the reassured feeling that he is with me I was back to stable state and detached myself from him.

He wiped my tears, settled himself on the bed with me and asked " abhi baatao aap roh kyun rahi thi? Itne ghanto se phone kyun bandh tha?" Sensing the concern in his voice my eyes again filled with tears and lips wobbled but he didn't let me cry again" siya bss hogaya baccha abhi aur rona nahi" said this making me sit on his lap and his strong arms securely wrapped around my fragile body. Listening to him I nodded and wiped off the tears " now say, what made you cry so much?" He asked with his most soft and soothing voice to which I replied" I was missing you" with tears rolling down my cheeks and my gaze down on our fingers intertwined.....