Unattainable Love

CHAPTER-30

"It's driving me crazy everything that I've kept within me feels like a collection of crimes committed by humans struggling to navigate their own lives. I have embraced every sin as if it were a mark of pride, and faced every challenge with unwavering courage. But now I find myself more broken and shattered from within as compared to before, as if the broken pieces within me cut through my being, leaving me wounded time to time again and again.

The pain is no longer just emotional, it has seeped into my each and every cell of my body creating an unbearable physical ache. It feels like something is desperately tearing my skin, trying to break free and unleash a scream that surpasses the limits of human civilization."

I opened my eyes abruptly and sat up straight when a sharp pain hit all over my body, leading me to let out a scream of pain while holding my throbbing head. "Siya, I am here"Out of all those haunting voices, I heard a soothing voice which made me realize that he was holding me securely in his arms. Without wasting any more seconds, I hugged him back so tight as if there was no tomorrow. Inside his embrace, I tried to inhale him all inside me to exhale out all the pain from within.

"I am haunted by the sense of paranoia, my soul is paranoid, as if this body was never meant to belong to me, leaving me all lost and displaced my own existence" My tears started flowing down my cheeks as these words escaped from me, hiding my face on his strong chest. He didn't stop me from crying; instead, he allowed me to cry in his arms. One of his hands held me securely, attached to him, while his other hand lovingly caressed my hair to ease my pain.

After a few moments, I had sobered up from my crying session, but the ache all over me wouldn't let me feel at ease. I detached myself from him, and we shared an intense gaze that was broken when he finally started to speak. "Siya, I promised to never force you for anything, right?" Listening to him, I just nodded, and he continued further, "I gave you all your time to feel comfortable with me, to open up with me, right?" Again, I nodded with his statement. "After seeing the worst state of yours, still, today I won't force you to open up. But, Siya, if not me, then please someone in this world, just open up with someone. Please let out your pain, speak about it, please, Siya," he begged. I didn't reply; my eyes were focused on his face which hold so much of concern.

When he saw me not replying to him and just staring at him, he stood up from the bed, saying, "Nevermind, I am bringing your food." Before leaving, I held his hand, stood up from the bed, and stood next to him, still holding his hand. He turned his gaze towards me, and I asked him not to leave. "I will open up with you today." Listening to this, he let me sit on the bed, and he sat down on the floor, intertwining our fingers together. My focus was on our intertwined hands gathering the courage to finally open up about my whole life.

"I had a very cute and happy family just like yours. I had my dad, my mom, my one-year-older sister, and me in our small, happy family. I had everything in my life and was so happy and fulfilled. But one single storm just took away everything from me and left me shattered into pieces in this cruel world for the rest of my life till date." A lone tear escaped my eyes, with a bitter smile appearing on my face.