"Having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness." – Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire
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"This is Westerden Optometrist–"
"This is Waffle Cones–"
"Oh."
"Oh."
"I'm afraid to ask, but who's on the other side of this line right now?"
"Luke, I am your father!"
"Firstly, my name's not Luke. Secondly–"
"Do you like sushi?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"Just answer it, bro! At least, I think you're a dude. No girl can have a voice that deep. But if you're a female... sorry dude."
"Who the hell are you?"
"Voldemort's the name, Horcrux-making is the game!"
"I don't want to play the game!"
"Did you know that 3.14 percent of sailors are pi rates?"
"Why are you making pi puns?"
"Snape. Snape. Severus Snape. Snape. Snape. Severus Snape."
"Dumbledore?"
"Whoo, you understood the reference! Want some ice cream? We're fully stocked."
"Uh, no thanks."
"What? Who turns down ice cream? Who the hell are you?"
"An optometrist to be. Want a free eye test?"
"Wow, I'm offended. My eyesight is as sharp as a sushi."
"You mean, a hawk?"
"Uh, yeah, that's what I meant."
"Just out of interest, what kind of ice cream do you guys have?"
"Oh, so now you're interested? Why the change of heart?"
"I'm not interested. I was just asking."
"Righhhhhhhhht."
"Anyway, I should go and poke some eyes out, you know."
"Gross. Have fun with that, dude."
"Well, If I ever need ice cream, I guess I'll call you?"
"Sāyonara, bro!"
YOU ARE READING
Eye Drops (#2)
Short Story"This is Westerden Optometrist. What are your symptoms?" "For starters, my eyesight has been super blurry and distorted, and this problem is starting to screw up seventeen-year-old life. Speaking of which, you sound kind of young for an optometrist...
