"I was floating in a peaceful sea, rescued by a sinking ship." – Aaron Weiss
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"How do eyes see things?"
"Hello to you too?"
"Top of the mornin' to ya. What are eyes, anyway? Just squishy blobs crammed in your skull. What makes them see?"
"I never thought you had much interest in those kinds of things."
"I care about anatomy sometimes! My life isn't just made up of cheerleading and last-minute Sephora runs, you know."
"Are you trying to be a better person, Retina? I never thought I'd see the day!"
"Since when does interest in squishy blobs equate to being a better person?"
"Squishy blobs. That sounds weirdly sexual."
"Squishy blooooooobs."
"Squuuuuuuishy blooooooobs."
"If the FBI were monitoring our phone calls right now, would they be entertained or freaked out?"
"Why not both?"
"How would the FBI monitor every phone call in the world? Do they have enough agents for that? Do agents just sit around, listening to teenagers say squishy blobs?"
"What's with all the questions today?"
"Is it a bad thing?"
"Nah, answering questions is fun. I just didn't expect you to be such a curious kitten."
"Curious kitten? That sounds like some kind of sexual innuendo."
"Everything is a sexual innuendo to you."
"Not that you can say much, considering you said squishy blobs sounds weirdly sexual."
"Squuuuuissssshhhhy blooooobs."
"Squuuishy blooooooooobs."
"Anyway, back to eyes. What were you asking about eyes?"
"How do they see things? Are they just black holes? I once heard that you can stick a needle through your pupil and be unharmed because it's a hole."
"That brings a whole new meaning to the 'cross my heart' vow."
"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye?"
"That's the one! Also, please tell me you didn't actually try to stick a needle in your eye."
"What? No, of course not! I'm not stupid, you know."
"Could've fooled me."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Did I stutter?"
"Alright, I would be mad, but your sass is admirable. Congrats, you've leveled up to a new level of saltiness!"
"Do I get a gold star sticker?"
"Do you want a gold star sticker?"
"Who doesn't want a gold star sticker?"
"Dude, you can visit the dollar store and grab a pack of them for two dollars."
"Yeah, but it'd mean more if I got one from you."
"Really?"
"Nah, I'm going to go buy my own. Ciao!"
"Jokes on you, I have my own pack of gold star stickers!"
"Mine will be shinier."
"Mine are prettier."
"Mine will hate you more."
"Mine hate you most."
YOU ARE READING
Eye Drops (#2)
Short Story"This is Westerden Optometrist. What are your symptoms?" "For starters, my eyesight has been super blurry and distorted, and this problem is starting to screw up seventeen-year-old life. Speaking of which, you sound kind of young for an optometrist...
