Eye Drops (#2)

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"My eyes hunger to read more books then time allows me to devour." – Jazz Feylynn

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"Um, Retina? Are you there?"

"I didn't do it! I mean, what? Er, yes. I mean, yeah, it's me. Hello!"

"Well, I was going to apologise for being a total douche to you the last time we chatted, but now I'm interested in another topic: what the hell did you do? Or not do, I guess?"

"I actually–"

"Oh crap, are you going to jail? Did you murder someone? I don't want to be friends with a homicidal maniac!"

"What the heck? No, you idiot, I–"

"Wait, were you converted into a monk? Ooh, if you're a monk, can you show me your glorious temple? Should I be bowing down to you? I'm not worthy!"

"Peanut, stop talking over me! Also, it's not any of the above. But I may have ordered some ice cream..."

"Wait, what? Retina, that's awesome! You're slowly adjusting to better dietary habits."

"I mean, I guess, but I still feel guilty."

"Don't feel guilty, the fact that you're trying is all anyone can ask for. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and even though I haven't met you yet, I'm the beholder of the eyes and I'm betting that you're pretty darn beautiful."

"Awe, Peanut. Is that inner optometristan coming out again?"

"Insert unamused meme here."

"Fine, whatever. Keep denying my snazzy pun skills. It's your loss."

"Retina, how do I break this to you? Your puns, they're not exactly–"

"Oh, I forgot to mention that I met Emily too!"

"Is Emily another monk? Am I supposed to be bowing down to her too?"

"What? No!"

"Then I have no idea who Emily is."

"You haven't met her before? Or even heard of her?"

"I don't recall any time I've ever talked to an Emily. Except that preschooler who kept stealing my Kit Kats! Stupid, greedy preschoolers."

"Well, the non-preschooler Emily happens to know who you are."

"Uh..."

"That sounded a lot less creepy in my head."

"Yeeeeeeeah, okay."

"Well, I'm going to hang up and ditch this awkward situation now."

"Wait, don't just le–"