My dad died a week ago... I came back to Ohio the day after he died. The guys try to text and call me everyday but I leave them to voicemail and on opened. I haven't eaten either... I cut every inch of my body as well. From my thighs... My stomach... And my forearms.
I sighed as I finally got out of my bed. I can't stay in bed all day I need coffee. I walked to my dresser and threw some clothes on.
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I walked to my bathroom, brushed my teeth, put chapstick and eyeliner on, then grabbed my car keys. I may as well go to Starbucks since it sounds good right now. I walked out of my apartment then locked the door. I ran down the stairs and walked to my small car. I climbed in and started the engine.
I drove towards Starbucks. I flipped through my music and my eyes landed on Scars by Papa Roach. I clicked play and hummed along.
I tear my heart open... I sew myself shut.... And my weaknesses that I can't do much... And my scars remind me that the past is real... I tear my heart open just to feel.
I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat. Then I saw the coffee place that I love. I pulled into the parking lot. I took a deep breath before getting out of the car. It's December... It's freezing and snowing out.
I ran into Starbucks because of the cold and rubbed my hands together vigorously. I walked up to the cashier. "Hello mam what would you like today?" The teen asked. "A pumpkin spice latte please," I said. He nodded. "Three dollars," He said. I handed three ones and waited for my drink. He grabbed my money then a girl handed him my drink. He held it out and I gladly took it.
I took a seat by the window so I could watch the snow fall.
Flashback (eight years old)
I threw a snowball and it hit my daddy right in the face. He laughed then said, "I'm gonna get ya you little rat," I ran and hid behind a tree. I felt a snowball hit my leg. I giggled. "We should make snow angels daddy!" I yelled coming out of hiding. "You're right," He said. We laid in the snow and began making our snow Angels.
We stood up and looked at them. "Mine is better," I said proudly. "Nuh uh mine is better and y'know it," He protested. I shook my head and giggled. I grabbed a handful of snow and ate it. "That's yellow snow," Daddy said. I screamed and dropped it. But it was white. I pulled a pouty face. He laughed and pushed me in a snow pile then he jumped in with me.
Flashback end
I felt tears run down my face but I put zero effort ;) in wiping them away. I sipped my coffee then put it down. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw a familiar face. "Can I sit with you?" Gerard asked. I nodded and quickly wiped my tears away. He sat across from me and I noticed he had a coffee as well.
"Um how are you holding up?" He asked. I shrugged. "You haven't returned any of our calls or texts," He said frowning. "Do you know what it's like losing a parent?" I asked him. He looked down and shook his head. "Then get your head out of your ass and realize that losing my dad is why I'm distant," I sighed.
He nodded sadly. "Have- Have you eaten you look uh sickly?" He asked. I shrugged. He frowned. "I bought a house nearby," He muttered. "What about the others?" I asked. "The house is small so they said they would stick to the hotel," He answered. I nodded and sipped my drink.
He sighed. "I'm asking you to move in with me," My eyes widened. "Uh sure but I'll need to pack and sell my apartment," I said. "Okie Dokie I'll help you move in and pack tomorrow," He smiled. My eyes widened again. "T-Tomorrow?" I stuttered. He nodded. I sighed. "How am I going to sell my apartment that quickly?" I asked.
"The boys will take care of it trust me," Gerard said. "Is that the simple way of saying they will take it?" I asked. He chuckled. "Pretty much," I stuck my hand out. "Fine deal," He shook it. I sipped my drink silently. "Are you sure you're holding up?" He frowned.
"Fucking fantastically," I muttered. He stood up. He walked over to me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up. Then he hugged me?
"I just want you to be okay," He said still holding me. He grabbed his coffee. "I'll see you tomorrow morning at your place," Gerard smiled. Before he left he pecked my lips. Did... Did he just kiss me? I touched my lips. He did kiss me... And there were definitely fireworks no doubt about it. Buzzzzzzzzzz
Mike D. : Hey Y/n... I hope you're doing alright after what happened. I told Tré. He was devastated... But on the bright side his girlfriend said yes to his proposal. I just thought I would need to give you funeral details... It will be on January 15th. I hope you will come.
Y/n: I'm fine. Tell T I said congrats. I don't know if I will have the mental strength to go but I'll try... Xoxo
I put my phone back in my pocket then popped my back. I should head home now and pack a little... I chugged the rest of my coffee. I threw the empty cup into the trash can then went out the door. I grabbed my keys in my hand tightly. I got in my car then started the engine to go home. I pulled out of the parking lot. I pressed play on my music.
4 minutes laaaateeer (spongebob voice :P)
I walked through my apartment door and walked to my bedroom. I grabbed my bag then sighed. Here we go....
4 hours of packing later...
I sighed as I plopped on my couch. That was excruciating. Who knew packing could take energy outta you.... Wait me! I groaned and mentally banged my head against a wall. I grabbed my phone from my pocket. I'm gonna scroll through Instagram I told myself buuut I got a text from Keira... I haven't fucking heard from her in forever!
K: HEY PEEERRRSSSOOONNNN! Haven't heard from you in forever! We should meet up! See you at the park in 10?????? 😊😊😂😂
Y/N: HI! Yes! Yes! How long has it been? Like two years?! Are you in town?!
K: Yes bitch! Let's meet in the park!
Y/N: Kay!
K: Btw... I heard about Billie im sorry.
Y/N: I don't wanna talk about it...
K: Alright. See ya!
I put my phone in my pocket and got off my lazy booty. I grabbed my car keys and ran to my car.
