Lost

Burgers and malls

I sighed, why does growing up have to be so hard?

Why can't I just settle on one school?

I shoved some fruit loops in my mouth, watching my brothers talk about some football match.

"Hey Em?" I hear my mums faint voice say.

"Mmmhmmm?" I manage

"We're going school-shopping" she squeals

Great.

Absolutely great.

Who wears good clothes to school? By the time I'm out of there I'll more likely have ink all over it and pen marks since my pens are monsters, not a good thing.

"Can you just go and buy me whatever you wan-"

My attempt and backing out got a deserved raised eyebrow.

"You need to go out more, Emma" she said "oh, we could buy you something other than your sweatpants and baggy tops... skirts! We could get you leggings to cover your hair legs and maybe some small heels! You'll totally rock those..."

"Fine" I say "but we're so going to the food court"

My mum nods... and then eyes me.

"Go change" she says chirpily, making me even more annoyed.

I sigh and go back upstairs, I slipped on some sweatpants and a t-shirt.

I took out my phone and put on some music, and then plugged my headphones in, humming quietly along with the song I ran down stairs.

I entered the car and sat in the backseat, wanting nothing more than to drown my thoughts and sleep.

Shopping went by as dull as I imagined it, my aching form walking after my mother and trying to convince her not to buy me short skirts and push up bras.

In the end we walked out the stores with mostly nothing, my mum bought me a hoodie and jeans, which where good enough.

And hoodies hide my face... so that's a sweet bonus

We finished shopping and mum brought me to the food court/the only good thing/ best thing in the mall.

Something I'm sure about is that I love food, who doesn't? I always tried to deny the fact, but I cannot do it anymore, I can't starve myself since I lose control when I see food, and I can't exercise because the last time I did so I ended up bleeding badly... let's just say I exercised for a little to long and my muscles ached... which lead to accidents to happen...

I got myself a burger and some French fries.

Whenever I start eating I become less scared at what other people think, I lose my 'bad girl' vibe which is quoted from my darling brothers but I'll be fine as long as I have my bae by my side, food.

This burger is so freaking goooooooooood, or I'm hungry.. more likely the latter, well hopefully..

The first chapter, done!

Ok, so it's terrible and I had to rewrite it a million times, but it turned out... ok.

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Ailani Maubee