Why the Straight One? | Book 1 | bxb

Entry 21 - The Day Before

I think one of the hardest things I have ever watched was the parting of Elliot and Alan.

Of course, Alan wasn't going to attend the wedding. He wasn't going to travel with us to Cadazar. Jay and Cameron were going to take him with them after we left, and help him deal with the first few weeks of being alone.

I'm sure they had already said their goodbyes in private, but as the bags were getting loaded into our separate cars and the time for parting was actually here, they clung to each other desperately.

I don't even think they cared who saw them at this point, the months of keeping their meetings secret didn't seem to matter anymore.

When I first caught sight of them standing together, I knew the decent thing to do was look away, but I couldn't. The way Alan's hands clutched the front of Elliot's shirt spoke so much more than mere words ever could. The whispered conversation that no one dared overhear broke my heart.

This was love. Why the hell were they being forced apart?

Somehow Elliot was staying strong, how I don't know, but Alan was openly crying, and watching Elliot try to comfort him brought tears to my own eyes.

"We need to go."

Thomas muttered next to me. He would never admit that he was addressing me, but I knew he was. Someone needed to tell them that it was finally time to go. Time to part forever, maybe.

"I-I'll tell him."

Raymond smiled gratefully at me, his hands clenched angrily at his sides. Everyone hated this. Raymond wasn't even going. He said that he wouldn't be able to sit through the wedding without trying to stop it. And he knew that too much work was put into this peace treaty for it all to be ruined now.

I walked slowly up to where they stood against the wall of the palace. I wanted to give them as much time as I could. It was their last time in each others arms after all.

I felt cruel and unutterably heartless when I placed my hand on Elliot's shoulder. He turned his head slightly towards me, a heavy sigh escaping his lips.

"Is it time to go?" His voice was thick with emotion, the absence of tears in no way lessening the grief that showed so evidently in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, but it is." 

He nodded.

"Thank you, Alex."

Why was he thanking me? I was forcing them apart and he was thanking me! My feeling of guilt was only heightened by the small smile he sent my way.

"Elliot."

The word was torn from Alan's throat, quiet yet desperate, as Elliot began to pull away from him.

"Alan, please, I have to go. You know that." He brought his hand up to stroke his cheek, wiping away the tears that continued to fall.

"I love you." I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the way Alan said those three words. It was so desperately weak, and yet the strength of his love could never be questioned.