Why the Straight One? | Book 1 | bxb

Entry 43 - I Ship It

"Don we now our gay apparel! Fa la la la la-"

"Alex, if you sing that line one more-"

"Can you pass me some of that tinsel over there?" I beamed down at him from the top steps of the little ladder we had brought in from the garage for decorating the tree.

"Where the hell do you even get rainbow tinsel?" All of his annoyance at my singing was quickly replaced by curiosity and genuine amusement.

"We gays have our ways." He shook his head, but couldn't hide his smile as he passed me the tinsel. It was good to see him smile. He was still shaken up from last night, and hadn't left my side all morning, but it seemed that at last he was able to forget about it for a few minutes while we decorated.

"Does your mom know that you planned on decorating like this?" He gestured towards my bedecked tree, the green of which could barely been seen through the layers of color that I had been covering it with.

"She'll know soon enough."

"I can't believe that she let you decorate. I could have seen this coming a mile away." I couldn't quite understand what he was talking about. I was pretty proud of my pride tree.

"What was your first clue?"

"Probably your sweater." I met his eyes and laughed at the face he was making. My sweater was everything I could ask for in an ugly sweater. Rainbow lettering from my favorite line from any Christmas song accompanied by a unicorn. What was there not to like?

"Smart guess. Then when I compared the tree to my sweater, it was found very lacking. In fact, it looked quite dull compared to it. So, just had to do something about it. And that is how this pride tree came into being." I held both arms out towards the tree to better show it off.

"I remember last year, we were having this whole protest slash gay Christmas party, and there was this guy that I was convinced was going to ask me on a date. We were setting up this tree together, and spent hours picking out ornaments for it. One of the cutest guys I've—are you even listening to me?

I glanced down from where I was arranging at the top of the Christmas tree, only to find that my audience hadn't even been paying any attention to me. In fact, he was just standing there, staring down at the ground. He jerked out of his reverie at my question, and looked up at me quickly.

"Sorry, I zoned out." He scrubbed at his eyes furiously, but i had already seen the tears there. It wasn't the first time he was emotional after getting lost in his thoughts. It's like last night had wiped away any control he had over his emotions. He went back to sorting through our old boxes of Christmas ornaments, trying to find one I liked.

"Thomas." I sat down in the top step of my ladder, and he looked up at me, waiting for what I had to say. "Come here." I held my arms out for him. I could see the hesitation in his eyes and in every line of his body. It took a few seconds, but then his body relaxed, and he walked over to stand in front of me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he rested his head on my shoulder. Neither of us spoke, and I think Thomas was grateful that I held my tongue. He didn't want to be asked if he was okay, or what was bothering him. We both knew, and we both knew he wasn't okay. All I knew to do was to comfort him in any way he would let me. After a few minutes, he took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh.

"Thanks." His voice was slightly muffled, and I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped from between my lips.

"What?" He lifted his head slightly to look up at me, confusion evident in his dark eyes.

"Your scruff. When you talked." He grasped the meaning of my cryptic message, and when he did, a gleam came into his eyes that I didn't quite like the look of.