When you leave home for awhile your brain automatically assumes that nothing will change and everything will remain the same as how you left it. Well I can personally tell you that it's never the same, the world keeps on moving as you do, it's a shame that time never truly slows down. I wish I could be mad but I no longer have room for anger at this point in time, there is only sadness and pity. When I asked about things back home the club lied straight to my face and it hurts that they lied about this with no remorse. Honestly i'm not surprised with the turn of events while I was gone it was bound to happen, death and destruction is all that ever fallows in the clubs path.
Letting out a huff of air I lay down the bundle of roses in front of the lone tombstone, and say back on my heels just to take everything in. There were slight traces of moss growing up the side of the granite structure giving it an older look then what it was. I couldn't help but run my fingers over the the carvings in the stone that spelled out the name of the unfortunate soul that was called home far too soon in their life. In touching the stones words it made the whole situation feel all that much more real making my chest tighten and a chill roam over my spine. We may not have been super close in our brief friendship, but none deserved to die in such a way because of who she was associated with. This is what the club did to the weak, whether directly or indirectly you were disposed of if you couldn't handle the life. The children, the parents, all loved ones suffered and had to continue their lives without the bright soul, it's the hard truth we all had to face at one point or another.
"Donna, i'm so sorry this was how your story ends. You weren't meant to go the way you did, honestly you were far too good for this life. You had so much taken from you in such a little time and i am truly sorry for that. I would like to promise you that I will look out for your kids and hopefully help guide them from the same path you have gone. I went to visit them when i heard the news, they seem to be okay but your presence is surely missed. Nothing can replace a mothers love, but i will show them the love and kindness of a family even if im not blood to them. No child should suffer as they are now, it will never get better but it will be easier to cope over time. I hope you are resting peacefully as you deserve to be and I will visit you again soon, as for now i must say goodbye and visit Half Sac ."
Giving the headstone a soft pat i stood up and wandered a few rows over to a fresher grave as my heart dropped. Half Sac was a dear friend in or short time together, he was soft hearted and kind with a killer sense of humor. I knew i was starting to tear up due to the stinging of my eyes, roughly sitting down stared at the grave in silence. The little american flag swished in the soft breeze recognising the service he did for our country. A soft laugh left my lips at the feeling of comfort i normally felt in his presence.
"Hey Half Sac long time no see i guess. It hurts to know that you had fallen for the reaper like many of your club members, but in return you did keep Tara safe so thank you for that. It's just fucked up that you lived through a life of battle and gun fire only to be taken down by a common thug with a knife. You deserved so much more, you went through too much bullshit to go down like that."
I had to stop as a hiccup racked my body with the soft sobs i could no longer contain. I felt betrayed for the two of them, Donna was ripped away from her children and forced to leave them behind. While kip lived through the nightmare of war and tried to make a family with the brothers that made up his club, only for his haunted soul to be taken too.
"Im sorry im a mess, i just hate you ended like this and i can't hear your laugh or horrible jokes anymore, you were one of my best friends for the short time you were here and i will cherish that. Watch over Donna and the club please, and i hope you are reunited with your army brothers. Hell you better be partying your ass off with both nuts now pulling all of the bitches."
I stood up laughing and whipping my tears just at the thought, softly kissing my fingers i rested them against the warm stone before making my way back to the car. Their lives may have ended far to soon but it is our job to carry their memory with us and make up for the time that they lost. We live, we die, and we carry on through others, and i know that without a doubt that Donnas and Half Sacs lives will carry on as long as their children, the club, or myself shall live.
I felt at peace now leaving the gates of the cemetery, all felt right and safe for the time being. I knew this could only last for so long, because the cold, hard reality is that we will soon lose another soul due to this lifestyle. That is all we know we live our life like we are about to die because with this life we probably are. I may say i'm done with the club and try to stay as far way as i can, but i know they will come to me to help solve their problems. Otto by default is my father he is in the life so in connection this will be my life, but i will be damned if this life is what takes me down.
