-Scott-
I sat at the breakfast table, making dozens of the phone calls when Noah finally decides to grace me with his presence. He grabbed his daily bowl of cereal and sat across from me. “You’re up early for a weekend.” He states.
“My mom isn’t doing so well and can’t find the will to make any funeral arrangements. So I have to do it.” I scrolled threw my contacts to find another family member. I pressed call only to have my call forwarded to voicemail. I tried to keep my nice composure but it was slowly breaking down.
“Is Andy around?”
I swiftly shook my head. “He requested the day off. Something about him being sick.”
After another call going to voicemail, I slammed my phone down on the table and ran my hands roughly through my hair. “What’s up your ass this morning?”
“I’m not dealing with this right now.”
“I’m going out with the guys anyway.”
I dropped my hands and lifted my head, “I need you to meet me at Mist at six.”
He mumbled the usual whatever and stalked off.
I’m crazy, I know it.
But why? Why am I like this?
Maybe because of how I found my mom. The damage that left still haunts me. The revenge still burning through me and not satisfied.
Will it ever be?
Nothing is right. I’ve gone full blown mental. I’m almost 19 years old and I’m only digging myself a deeper hole. I’m treating my own brother like a child because I can’t trust him. I want to trust him but with new found information, I can’t. But can he even trust me?
Of course not.
I don’t even trust myself. I have these urges…tendencies if you will. Just to avenge my mom. But it’s not going to bring her back and I need to face that. I thought maybe hurting the people that hurt her, would help me. It’s not and I’m in too deep. Trying to silence Noah without hurting him is difficult because of Willow.
The infatuation he has with that girl is disgusting. It’s a girl. One simple girl from LA he can’t seem to let go of. Maybe I didn’t have any intentions on killing her that night, but only to hurt her to prove a point to Noah. Who I should’ve hurt was Leo, our good for nothing biological father. It’s his fault that my mom died, not Noah’s.
Noah’s the golden child. The one everyone wants to show off. The one to be proud of and the one to be friends with. No one ever knew me. Leo never gave anyone the chance. He told me I was a mistake and he wishes my mom would have considered the alternative. I wasn’t asked to be here but yet I’m still blamed for my existence.
Daddy issues is what Willow called it. I guess it’s true. The whole situation revolves around Leo. If he didn’t abandon my mom for Noah’s, she would still be here.
I remember the night in the hospital the night my mom died. They took her away in an ambulance, but it was already too late. She was dead on arrival. That was the night I met Carrie as well. She was accepting because she didn’t have a choice. But Leo wasn’t. He kept repeating the words, “Your mom has always been selfish” or “This is all your fault”.
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