gangs

Fourty-two

"Why do they choke?" She asked us as Calum drove, her sitting in the backseat silently.

"His lungs were shutting down, he was losing his access to air." Calum explained to her slowly.

"So when my dad died- he choked?" She asked us slowly.

I looked to Calum, knowing he was with her dad.

"No, your dad went a little more peaceful- he was under anesthesia, he had a tube down his throat that was breathing for him, so he had air even after he passed" Calum explained slowly to her.

"What do you guys think happens after death?" She asked us.

I took this one

"I choose to be hopeful, I believe that there's a heaven and a hell. I believe that good people go to heaven- go to their own paradise and bar people get what they deserve." I told her slowly.

"Do you think my dad went to hell?" She asked me.

That question took me for a loop.

"I didn't know your dad, princess-" "I hope he didn't." I heard her quietly mumble.

"Like I know he was a bar person and he hurt us sometimes and almost got us killed multiple times, but I loved who he was when work wasn't on his mind." She mumbled to us.

"And I think God takes everything into account." Calum stepped in for me.

"I think your dad had a reason for a lot of the things he did, now they might not have been good decisions, but I don't think he had negative outcomes in his mind and I think God gives everyone the chance to explain and ask for forgiveness." He finished slowly, making me nod slowly.

"Is it bad that I haven't forgiven my mom or that man?" She whispered.

Calum parked in the driveway, turning back to her.

"Your heart hurts tonight, doesn't it, princess?" He asked her slowly- and it's as it those words just melted into her.

She nodded slowly.

"This night brought up a lot of bad memories" she mumbled to us, tears visible in her eyes.

"I know it did, Andrea." He spoke, getting out the car as I did.

We got her out, and we both hugged her at the same time.

We stood in my driveway, in the pitch dark, overly exhausted and we hugged our angel, because for the first time in forever she admitted to us that she was hurting and still struggling through her past.

"Let's go in, eat some snacks, talk some more and then go to bed, how's that sound?" I asked her slowly, getting a firm nod.

So we did as said

And she talked to Calum and I about everything from when her dad first started selling drugs until the minute I walked into the bedroom- maybe thirty minutes after she was raped.

"I didn't even know who you were until you said your name- I couldn't identify your face or anything, you just said your name and I had to trust that it was actually you, it was so scary." She told me slowly.

"That was the drug that he had you on, it was playing tricks with your mind and trying to relax you too much." I told her.

"I thought that was the end of everything- like I wanted to die." She told us, breaking my heart

"But I'm so glad I didn't" she spoke, looking to both of us

"Because now I have four boys who love me more than both of my parents combined ever did and I'm actually happier than I think I've ever been"