The One That Got Away

The Time is Now

JJ walks to the kitchen, and I sit up on the couch, with my ankle pounding. I don't know what I did back at the cemetery, but the swelling is starting to go down a little bit. That's always a good sign.

"That bread had mold on it three days ago." I hear John B say from the kitchen table.

"I'll just pull off the bad parts. Plus, mold is good for you. It's just a natural organism." JJ responds.

I try to stand up, but I can't walk on my bad ankle just yet.

"Here." JJ says, throwing a bag of ice at me for me to catch, "Don't try to walk on it yet."

Kie grabs a pillow from one of the bedrooms and puts it under my ankle, "If you keep it elevated it stops the swelling." She says smiling, putting the ice bag on my bruised ankle.

"Holy shit." John B says, opening the package, finding a map.

"Oh. X marks the spot." Pope says, pointing down on it.

"Longitude, latitude. Wait, there's somethin' else in there."

"What's that?" JJ asks, as John B pulls out a tape recorder.

"It's a tape recorder, dumbass." Kie says, as I laugh.

"Dear Bird." I hear my dads voice.

"Who's Bird?"

"That's what my dad called me."

"I hate to say, "I told you so," but I told you so. And you doubted your old man.I suspect at this moment, you're filled with guilt and self-loathing over our last fight, but don't kill yourself just yet, kid. I didn't expect to find the Merchant either. You were probably right to call me out. Wasn't exactly Father of the Decade. What can I say, kid? I could smell the barn. And hopefully, we're listenin' to this in our brand new sugar-shack down in Costa Rica, livin' off passive investments and pulling on permits. If not, and you find this for less than optimal reasons, well, that's what the map is for. There she is, the wreck of the Merchant. If somethin' happens to me, finish what I started. Go for the gold, kid. If Alanna ever comes back in the picture, make sure you tell her how much I loved that little girl. She's a big part of why I kept going every day, to get her back. I love you, Bird, even if I didn't always act like it. I'll see you on the other side." As soon as the tape recorder clicks off, John B walks over to me on the couch, and immediately starts sobbing. He puts his head on my shoulder and wraps his arms around me.

I feel tears coming from my eyes, Ive never heard my dads voice before, but I knew immediately it was him. I just knew. That might be the only time I ever hear my dad talk.

"Holy shit, he did it! Big John... He found the Merchant..." I hear JJ say.

"Can you... can you please?" Kie says, coming over to John B

"Sorry."

John B finally lets go of me, and wipes the tears off my face, "He loved you so much, Alanna, he thought about you every day. He always talked to me about you. He worried sick about you. He wanted to see the person you'd became, what you've accomplished. He was such a good dad and I couldn't even see that." John B says, "He always talked about, if he ever found the gold, that he was going to get you back from mom, that's what he was talking about."

I put my face in my hands, and sniffle. I feel wet tears roll down my cheeks. My dad was doing this partly to try to save me from mom, to get me back here, where I belonged. He never forgot about me, he knew I didn't abandon him. He loved me. One of the only people on this earth that does, and I never got to meet him. I just want to hug him, look in his eyes, once. In person, and tell him that he means so much to me. His love, his ambition. I've never experienced love, my whole life, the only person that ever came close is Courtney. That doesn't even touch it. Just hearing it, feeling the vibrations, being supported, built back up, off of a tape recording, and a couple of kids on a small island, that is what i've been searching for my whole life. People to truly love me for who I am, not because they have to.