The One That Got Away

Merchant

I pull into John B's drive, putting the truck in park, seeing everyone on the hammocks by the marsh.

"There's the princess." JJ scoffs.

"Shut up JJ, and move over, you're taking up the whole hammock." I say jokingly

"That was the plan, I wanted to be here, all alone. No kooks allowed on 'our side of the island.'" He rolls his eyes, being super serious.

"Well then I'll just go inside then, since everyone hates me that much now." I say, grabbing my things, starting to walk inside angrily.

I walk through the screen door, slamming it behind me. God I can never win. I can't believe they all hate me now.

I open the main door and go straight to the bedroom. I throw everything in my hands at the wall, and push all the folded clothes off of my bed on the floor. I shove my face in a pillow, trying hard to hold back tears, but they come out anyways.

I can't pick. I love all of them. I hate this. My brother probably despises me, JJ showed me he did. Not a peep from Kie or Pope.

I hate being in the middle. I just want to love everyone the same.

I grasp my pillow even harder, starting to sob.

"Hey, Alanna?" I hear a voice say, I can't tell who it is.

"Just leave me please. You all hate me anyways." I say, with my shaky voice cracking.

"Calm down, please don't cry." I feel them sit at my feet, placing their hand on my calf.

I try not to look up, because I hate how I look when I cry.

I peek to see JJ at the foot of the bed, and John B in the doorway.

"I'm sorry okay, I just got upset about earlier, don't cry, please, sit up and talk to me." He says, reaching his hand up, helping me sit up.

"No i'm sorry. I'm a terrible person. I can't just love you guys and love him too, but I do. I can't pick sides, it's already breaking my heart doing this." I say, trying not to cry again, putting by face in my hands, "Today sucks so hard."

"I don't hate you." John B says, "How could I, you're my sister."

"I don't hate you either." JJ says, reaching his arm around me for a hug.

I put my face on his shoulder, and just break down. I couldn't hold it back anymore. So much has happened to me in the past 24 hours. My mind can't take it all in. I knew this was going to happen. This is what I was trying to prevent today.

"It's okay." JJ says, trying to comfort me.

I feel John B sit next to me, wrapping his arms around me too.

"Let's go back outside, I guess i'll make room for you in the hammock too." JJ says, trying to cheer me up.

"Okay, let's go." I say, wiping tears off of my cheeks.

I walk out with the guys, to see Kie and Pope standing up, Kie with her arms stretched out for a hug.

I hug her tightly, and she says quietly, "JJ's just in love with you...we all know that."

I laugh a little bit, and walk over to the hammock, laying the opposite direction of JJ.

"This is so peaceful." I say, "Except for JJ's feet in my face."

"Well John B's are in mine." Kie says laughing.

"I'm vibing by myself, but this hammock is so small, even for me." Pope mentions, "You really think it's out there? Like, no bullshit?"