Off Ice.

Chapter Forty-Two.

Casey

At least I can cross becoming a shish-kabob off my bucket list.

I don't know why they're keeping me locked up in here, I'm fine to go home. I can walk, but they keep insisting on putting me in a damn wheelchair. I get I was just stabbed but yeesh, I'm not a fucking paraplegic.

I want to be home with Grace. I want to be with Avery and Finn right now. I don't need to be laid up in a hospital bed.

And I miss my fucking dog.

I also know that Finn's not going to leave until I'm home. Of course I want him here and I want to spend time with my brother, but he's jeopardizing his game being in LA. And not for nothing, his mental state deteriorates the longer he's not on ice. I'm worried about him.

I'm worried about the both of them. You'd think I'd feel more on edge considering I was the one who was stabbed, but I'm oddly okay. I really meant it when I said that I'm glad it was me - that's all I could think about when I was laying in Avery's arms. All I could think about was how if Finn was the one who walked in there, Avery would be in a much worse position. I don't think there would of been much for her to do then.

I saw the look on that dirtbag's face when he saw that I wasn't Finny. I saw how surprised he was, I saw him panic. I saw it all switch behind his eyes - the pure hatred turned to pure shock. If Finn was in my place, that hatred would of taken him from us. I've never been so sure about something in my entire life.

Now that's a type of agony that feels so fucking suffocating - thinking about losing my brother. I'd do this over a thousand times if it meant he would be okay.

The last time I saw Hughes was when I had to rip Finn off of him in that bookstore parking lot. I'm sure he's seen me since then, since I'm always around Avery and that fuck has been lurking in the apartment next to her for who knows how long - but to say I was shocked to see how he looked would be an understatement. Sure, Finny told me about how he changed; he told me about how he looked now. But seeing it was just.. different.

He really did look like Finn when Finn was 18. Mason's hair was put back in the exact kind of bun that he used to rock, he was wearing the clothes Finn wears. Not to mention that the fucker dyed his hair brown too.

I've never seen Avery react the way that she did when she saw him - hell, even when she just realized he was in the apartment. Terrified doesn't even begin to describe it. It's like she left her body. She was absolutely frozen in an obscene amount of terror. This man scares her more than anything.

Seeing how much she's been beating herself up is hurting me more than the recovery is. It's hard seeing someone you love do that to themselves and know that you could say whatever you want, but they're probably not going to be able to conceptualize it. It's like she's down a pitch black tunnel and you're shouting at her so she can find you - but she can only hear your voice and not understand what you're saying. At some point, maybe just calling to her so she knows you're there is better than trying to guide her. She'll find her way as long as she knows you're still there.

"Keep thinking that hard and your heads going to roll off your shoulders."

I look over to the curtain, seeing Grace closing it and creating that small barrier between me and the person who's moved into this room today. It's a dude who can't be much older than me, but he's just come out of surgery so he's knocked. 

She comes over to me with that cute smile, her blonde hair piled into a bun at the back of her head - shorter frayed pieces framing her face. She rounds my bed and sits in the big chair that she's basically lived in, taking the laptop she put on the beside table and placing it on her lap.