Off Ice.

Chapter Forty-Six.

Finn

Being knocked out? Not all it's hyped up to be.

It's really fucking weird. I obviously don't remember getting off the ice or into the ambulance, but I remember clear as day what I thought I saw. And that was my worst fucking nightmare.

Like yeah, now I know that it doesn't make a bit of sense. It doesn't make sense how he'd be there, how he would of gotten through security. It doesn't make sense how he would of gotten her without me finding out.

I guess it was more that I saw him. I saw him in the stands. I looked up from the puck when I skated back and saw him standing there with his arm around my girl, her eyes wide and petrified. I froze for a split second and that's what left me vulnerable, and by the time I turned I was getting nailed.

The last thing I saw was that dumb fucking smirk on his dumb fucking face and I was trapped behind the glass. I couldn't get to her, I couldn't help her. He had her in his grasp and the look on her face was telling me that she was in pain. You know how horrifying it is to see your girl in pain while you're literally stuck behind a wall of glass?

I guess I vaguely remember getting hit, but I really just remember everything going black when I couldn't get to Aves. So when I woke up in an ambulance with all of my gear still on and Avery no where in sight, I panicked. Seeing him have her and then not knowing where she was - and having no one answer me was excruciating. I was ready to take every single person out in that ambulance in order to get to her, but they pretty much sedated me without actually knocking me out.

I don't know how that's meant to make anything better. I was still panicking, I was still terrified that Avery was hurt somewhere and no one was helping me. The only thing it did was make it impossible to move my body. It was the worst fucking experience of my life - being sure that I saw the girl I love more than anything with the man who wants to hurt her and literally not even being able to move to get to her.

I remember hearing her voice in that ambulance, but I don't think I understood how or where she was. Now I can think back and recall that Jack had her on the phone, but in the moment? No fucking clue. All I knew was that I could hear her voice and I needed to tell her that I was sorry.

All of this is my fault. It's my fault that Hughes has gotten so bold - I'm making him angry by being around. I'm not going to leave like she was saying she thought she should do - but I can't stop thinking that I'm only making everything worse.

Honestly, I was really paranoid. I was trapped and I had it in my head that the EMTs were out to hurt us too. They were restricting me from finding her, they were holding me down, they  were sedating me. I've never experienced paranoia before and it was absolutely brutal.

I'm glad I was alone when I first called Avery the next day because I was crying like a baby. I know she could hear it, but I didn't care. I can't even call what it felt like to hear her voice relief. It somehow broke my heart more.

She sounded so sad. I wanted to tell her to come to Vegas more than anything, but I know better even though it feels like the right thing to do.

It's the day after and I still feel like garbage. My head is pounding all the time and everything is so fucking bright. All I've wanted to do is sleep but I just can't.

Jack was with me for the last two days but the guys have to go to Arizona for yet another game I'm missing. The league announced that I'm out indefinitely with an upper body injury, but after talking to the doctors I'll probably be able to go back in in a month or so - which is really lucky.

Honestly, probably going to be back in around the same time as Case.

Something good came out of this after all then - and that's that I can go back to LA. I feel like I'm doing something wrong with that, because I just left and made a big stink about it. But the guys are gonna be on a two week road trip and there's literally nothing for me in San Jose except the team. At least then I can be with my people while recovering. But once the team comes back, I'll be on my way back to San Jose. I missed enough time with them.