Off Ice.

Chapter Nine.

It's been two weeks since I left Theo; since I found out he's been sleeping with someone else for Lord knows how long. I went into work the next day and quit on the spot, which lead to Lillian giving me an earful about how shitty it is to leave her hanging without any warning. But I didn't feel anything when she was yelling at me. I didn't feel intimidated or upset. I didn't even feel guilty. I just felt nothing.

I've only felt nothing, all day every day. I'd pay to feel anything right now. Literally any emotion. I don't even care what it is at this point or what the price would be. I'd be willing to experience the heartbreak that Finn left me with if it meant I could feel something.

Finn.

He's texted, even called a few times but I couldn't answer. I can't do anything.

I'm sure he's talked to Cam or Casey because the texts turned from asking me to just let him know that I'm okay to letting me know that he's there if I need. I don't think they told him, though. They doesn't tell people my business.

All I've done is go to class and come home to lay in bed. I don't read, I don't hang out with my friends. I just sleep and go to school.

I don't even feel guilty that Cam is basically aiding me, making sure I'm eating at least once a day and that I'm physically okay. Grace has been great too - she's come and just sat in my room with me for hours to make sure I'm not alone. We barely talk, she just sits at my desk and does her work as I lay in bed or halfass work on my assignments.

She's brought Dot a few times too. And even though the little spotted pup gave me the closest thing to a smile, it still just didn't feel right.

I think today's Saturday, at least I hope it is because I haven't been to class in the last two days. I haven't kept track of the actual dates, it's too much work. I'm just exhausted. I'm always exhausted.

I hear a knock on the door of the apartment but I don't bother moving from my spot in bed. I hear Cam get up and his footsteps move to the door.

I'm not doing anything but laying in bed so I can hear everything, which is why I feel my heart slow down a bit when I hear Cam try to keep his voice down as he asks, "What are you doing here?"

I'm preparing to hear Theo's voice and it makes me want to throw up, however I'm filled with relief when I hear another. "I'm worried, eh? Is she alright?"

Finn? He's here? How is he here?

Fuck, when was that LA/San Jose game? Surely it's not this week already, right? When did he say it was again?

Oh, fuck. It is this week. Now I remember because Cam is leaving for San Diego tonight and it's the same week. Damn. How did time go so fast?

"She's.. fine," Cam tries, but it's obvious he's lying. I can hear Finn scoff, "Come on, Cam. Can't I just see her? Five minutes, just give me five minutes. I'm really fucking worried and I have been for weeks now."

"And how do you think you could help?" he questions and I can almost picture him standing with his arms crossed against his chest.

"Because it's Avery, Cam," he answers, his voice much softer. It seems like he's trying to make sure I don't hear the conversation, but that's obviously not working. "I just- I can talk to Avery. You know I can."

I hate that he's right.

Cam goes quiet for a second before I hear him sigh. "Let me ask her, alright? She's been through a lot. I don't want to overwhelm her."

My back is to the door when I hear it open and then shut softly. "Avery?"

"Yeah?" I answer just as quietly. He walks around my bed and squats next to it so he's face level with me. "How you feeling?"