Off Ice.

Chapter Ten.

Finn

I would love to say that life is going good, but I can't. Sure, my life is getting on track again but Avery is severely depressed and doesn't even realize it. She thinks she's just a little sad and being a burden but it's so much more than that.

As much as I hate thinking about it, she found out that the person she was in a year long relationship was with someone else. She lost that person and then she left her job because of it. It's like the two biggest things in her life were ripped from her and if I was her, I'd be reacting the same way.

I like to think that me being in LA for the last couple days has helped her, especially since Cam has left. She's let me in and although I'm feeling like the luckiest and most undeserving man alive, I'm worried about how easily she did it. I'm worried that she just doesn't care about protecting herself anymore.

And it's not like she can't make her own decisions or that I think she's not capable. No one but her should be in charge of her life; who the fuck am I to say that she is incapable of being rational. She's not incapable of anything.

But regardless, she doesn't need to be protected from me, that much I know. I'm not the one I'm worried about, though. I don't know, I'm just hesitant because I am leaving again. I don't live in LA, I'm not over here often. I leave again tomorrow afternoon and then I don't know when I'll be back.

I can come back if I have a reason - maybe during the Christmas break. I really hope Aves can be that reason by then.

Aves. I can't express how fucking good it feels to call her that again. How good it feels to know that she's letting me do it.. That she wants me to do it.

The car ride to Theo's was awkward to say the least. He kept trying to talk to her but she was completely toning him out, her eyes locked on the road and her hands clenching the wheel for dear life. She's too good for this world - willingly putting herself through that just so he gets home safe. I'm not that good. If it were up to me, he would be kicked out that door within a minute with no remorse.

But that's not Avery. You could spit in her face and call her the worst name imaginable, but she'd still help you.

I was over it, though. Hearing him babble on about how much he misses her, about how he misses how she felt. I knew he was saying all of the provocative shit he was saying so that I would hear about their sex life. I can never imagine talking like that about Avery, especially in front of another man.

When we got to his parking garage, I got out of the car before she could and pulled him out of the car. She stayed sitting in the drivers seat, her forehead pressed to the wheel as I handled Theo.

Once he was out, I shut the door and gripped his collar, whispering lowly in his ear, "If I hear that you went near her again, you'll regret it."

Then because I was seeing red and couldn't really help myself, I added, "And trust me, I know exactly what she's like."

When I got back in the car, Avery just put the car in reverse and backed out of the spot without even looking at him. I'm glad she didn't wait for him to get to his apartment; I know she had enough. She had enough of him talking about her like that, as did I.

I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that I didn't miss seeing her like that. Hearing her. I wonder if she's done the things we did with him. I wonder how many showers they've had together or how many times he's gotten to run his hands along her skin.

"Ready to go?"

Jack's voice snaps me back to reality and I look up at him from my spot on the bench in front of my dressing slot. I nod and stand up, grabbing a hold of my stick. He shoves into me before I stretch my neck out and pull back my shoulders to do the same.