Off Ice.

Chapter Forty-Nine.

Avery

It's been two and a half weeks since Finn left for San Jose and luckily, it's felt like the time has flown by.

I've been busy with school, finishing up midterms and officially getting to the second half of my last semester. And most of the time that I'm not in class, I'm at the library. I haven't spent really any time alone but I can't say that I'm too upset about that. I tend to spiral when I'm alone.

Both Casey and Finn have been excelling in their recovery, which isn't at all surprising. They're dead set on having their first games back be the LA v. San Jose game in a few weeks, which seemed like a pipe dream at first but now I'm not so sure.

Finn's concussion is almost fully gone which in itself feels like a miracle, and now he's on the ice with his team warming his body back up. His head might be almost okay, but his body hasn't endured the heavy play and just being thrown into a game is dangerous. He needs to condition his body back up.

Same goes for Casey. You would of never thought that that man had surgery just under a month ago. He's been working extremely hard every fucking day and it has not been easy for him. I've seen him at his best and his worst, and his worst is not pretty. But he's one stubborn bastard and he wants back in that game, that's for damn sure.

I also put on my big girl pants and went to therapy for the first time last week.

I'm not going to lie, I was fucking terrified. Not sure if you could tell, but I'm not really all that great at letting people know that I'm not doing the best.

I'm over here worrying about burdening my own fucking therapist with my problems.

IT'S LITERALLY HER WHOLE JOB.

Anyway..

Joyce recommended her. Her name is Bobbi and she works in the same office as Jo's therapist. Jo said that she's run into her quite a bit over the years and that she was always really kind. When Jo went to see her therapist last, she asked if she had any recommendations for me - telling her that I was young and going through some things right now. Apparently, Bobbi is perfect for me.

I've only met her once, but she was really nice. She didn't try to get me to delve into the deep stuff right off the bat, which I really appreciated. I was scared shitless and knew that I'd panic, fib, and end up sugar coating everything. We ended up using the hour just to get to know each other.

She's in her early 40s so I'd say she's still young, and she has a husband and two little girls. She told me about where she went to school and about her family, which I knew was her way of getting me to feel comfortable with her. I told her about how I'm from New York, but have lived in Seattle and LA. I told her about Finn and his job, and about Casey, Cam, and Grace - even Dana and Morgan. She picked up on the fact that I spoke a lot about them before even mentioning my actual family, which made me feel like a jackass. She didn't make me feel bad for it, I was doing that to myself.

She must be really good at her job because by the end of the session, I blurted out the fact like that I'm being stalked. She didn't look all that surprised and I'm not sure if it's because she's trained to not show that or if it's because it's a normal thing, but her reaction was just what I needed. She raised her brows at me and went, "Ah, there it is."

Maybe that can be seen as unprofessional, but I don't know. I need that kind of banter and I know that she read that off of me. That's why she was getting to know me first, she was getting a feel for my personality and how I handle things. Being a psychologist isn't just letting someone vent to you and listening, it about adapting to the person and doing your best to help them understand what's happening to them. But you can't help someone understand a sentence if you're not speaking their language in the first place.