Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 33

Katniss

"You build me up, then I fall apart."
-Christina Perri

I throw myself into training with nothing but a simple need to do it right. I train until I can't go on, which usually ends up being only a couple of hours. At first Boggs seems underwhelmed with my performance in Training, but with the help of him and Gale, I'm improving significantly.

My training consists of learning military combat skills, agility, and shooting of course. I report there every day at 7:45 in the morning with Peeta. He goes to his training with all of the other citizens in his class, leaving me alone with Boggs and Gale. Being relatively small, I'm at a total disadvantage in fighting hand-to-hand combat with other people, but I'm quick and can shoot. Of course, it takes a little adjusting to go from a bow to an actual gun, but I get it eventually. I leave training happier than when I come in.

"Hey, Katniss." Peeta greets as I walk out of the doors after Training.
"What are you doing here? Your training ended a while ago..." I ask.
"I just thought I'd come and see how you are. Is that okay?" He explains.
I give him a little smile.
"It's great." I say, quietly.

He walks with me back to my compartment. On our way, he asks about my training.
"How is it?" He asks.
"It's okay. I like Boggs, but I think he's unimpressed." I say, a little upset.
"Well, he has to give you some credit. You've been tortured and you have some injuries still. You can't be perfect." He replies.
"Well, I have to be perfect and strong to fight this war, so..." I say back.
I can see he wants to say something back, but he doesn't. He lets me go, not wanting to fight. We're silent for a while. I wait for him to say something, but he doesn't. We're at my Compartment when one of us speaks. And it's me.
"Wait, Peeta..." I say, after he turns to leave. He turns back around to me and walks a little closer.
"What?" He asks.
"Peeta... Do you really think I can do this?" I ask, upset.
"You don't think you can?" He asks.
I shake my head.
"I question it." I answer.
"Well, you shouldn't." He says. "I know that you can do this. All of 13 knows you can do this. The only one who needs convincing is yourself, Katniss. You have to believe you can do this. You can do this."

I close my eyes for a second.
"Thanks, Peeta. I think I just needed to hear it." I say.
I look down at the ground, instead of at him. All of a sudden, his arms are around me. I move to put my arms around him, too. He holds me in his arms, and I rest my head on his warm shoulder. Tears sting my eyes from worrying and overthinking my situation. A few fall, creating little blossoming spots of darkened fabric on his shoulder.
His hands stroke my back, moving over every little bump on my spine.

"Peeta, what am I going to do?" I ask.
"Well," He says, "You're going to train, and then you're going to fight. And then, you're going to win. And then... we'll see what happens. Alright?"
I take a deep breath, "Alright."
He pulls away from the embrace. I want him more, but I don't say anything. I watch as he turns and starts to walk away.
"Peeta." I say, calling him back to me.
When he comes back, he doesn't seem upset, thankfully.
"Yeah?" He answers.
"Will you stay with me?" I ask, like a child.
He gives me a small smile.
"Of course. Always." He replies.
--

Peeta and I sit on the bed in the compartment in silence, 10 minutes later. We haven't spoken a word in those 10 minutes, he just has his arm wrapped around my back.
"Ugh," I say, miserably, "I can't do this."
"What do you mean?" Peeta replies, thinking I'm talking about him, about us.
I shake my head. "It's not that, Peeta."
I feel him relax a little. We're silent a little more. My thoughts seem to bury me. It terrifies me.
"I don't know how to say this." I say.
"I do." Peeta answers me.
"You do? But you don't even know what I want to say..." I question.
"You want to talk, don't you? You want to get it out." He says.
"How did you...?" I ask. How did he know?
He shrugs. "I don't know. I just did."