Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 13

Peeta

When I realize what she's about to do, I move quickly. I knock the knife from her hands, and before she can do anything else, my lips are pressed to hers and my hands are gripped tightly on hers. When our lips pull apart, I don't move my head away from hers.
"No," I say, "You can't do this."
I feel a tear fall from her eye.
"And why not?" She asks, quietly.
"Because I love you. And when you love someone, you don't let them destroy the person they are. I love you, Katniss. Nothing can change that. I'm not going to leave you. And I'm making sure you don't leave me like that." I say to her.
We still don't move our heads from each other.
"But your family is dead because of me. I tried to kill you! I'm the reason you got hurt in the games. I'm a monster, Peeta! I'm a mutt! I can't trust myself, and neither can you. I'm just a Capitol experiment gone wrong. I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve anybody's love. I deserve death, Peeta." She replies.

Her words stab me like a knife.
"What have they done to you?" I say out loud.
"They showed me who I really am," She tells me, "Manipulative, ugly, distrustful, hateful, deadly, and most importantly... Worthless. They shouldn't even have rescued me. I deserved to die there."

I kiss her again, and wish for this all to stop. Katniss is destroyed. They've rendered her useless. I don't know how, but they've made her fear herself.

When we finally pull away from the kiss, she looks me in the eye.
"I love you." I say to her.
"I love you, too. Just not myself.." She says back.

When I get up to leave, she grabs my arm.
"Don't leave..." She says, "Im scared. Where's my family? What are the doctors going to do to me?"
"Your family is okay, Katniss. They're sleeping, that's all, It's late. They'll come see you first thing in the morning. I promise you." I say, reassuring her.
"Please don't go..." She says.
"Katniss, I have to. You're safe here. No more torture. They're going to fix up your leg and your other injuries tomorrow, and I'll be there the whole time. I promise." I say.
She sighs.
"You promise?" She asks.
"I promise." I reply, giving her a small smile.
She gives me a weak smile.
"I'm so tired, Peeta." She says, softly.
"Shh, Katniss. You can sleep now." I say.
I help her into the hospital bed and cover her up best I can, careful not to disturb the doctors cleaning her gunshot wounded leg. She closes her eyes and I kiss her forehead.
"Stay with me." She says.
"Always.." I whisper In her ear.
--

After she's asleep, I walk to go find Haymitch. I tell him she's alive, but not so well. I explain what she's said to me, and he tells the head doctor.

In the morning, I'm woken by Haymitch. Plutarch, Beetee, Prim, and Katniss's mother are in the room with me.
"So, as I'm aware, you all know that Katniss is alive, but there are some things that have happened since that discovery." Plutarch starts. He continues with a lot of useless information, as if he's avoiding what he's come to say.
"Cut to the chase, Plutarch." Haymitch says.
"Ah, yes. Well, the doctors here say it's a form of torture called 'hijacking'," He says. He turns to Beetee, gesturing for him to explain.

"Well, I'm not an expert, but basically it's fear conditioning. They inject her with Tracker-Jacker venom to induce a state of uncertainty and confusion, then play memories. Usually of a specific person, and I guess in this case they were of herself. Then they use beatings and pain to cause fear. The scary version of the memory is basically saved, if you will, into her brain instead of the normal one." He explains.
"So, they changed her memories to make herself seem like a threat to the world and to herself..." Prim says, trying to understand. Her mother hugs her, tight.
"How do you reverse it?" I ask.
"Well, we haven't gotten that far. There are theories, but nothing we know of proves 100% effective." Beetee replies.
"Well, you're going to try, right?" Prim asks, worried.
"Of course we'll try, Prim. We aren't giving up on our Mockingjay." Plutarch says.

I think of Prim, whose in a way lost everyone closest to her. She lost her father, dead in a mining accident. She lost her mother, alive but dead to the world for so long. And now, she's lost Katniss. Her sister, her protector.

And then I think of myself. How I've lost everyone I've ever seemed to care about. My brothers, my father, even my mother are dead. Finnick broken, Katniss 'hijacked'.

And then I think of how much Snow will have to pay for this. How much he'll have to pay for his destruction.
He won't get away with this.
--
When I go to visit Katniss early in the morning, she's awake already. When she sees me, she doesn't do anything. She watches as the doctors crowd around her leg, examining it. I walk over to her.
"Hey," I say, "How are you feeling?"
"They say I need surgery, Peeta. For my leg." She says quietly.

"Surgery?" I say, loudly.
A doctor turns to me, and ushers me out of the room.
"Mr. Mellark, when she was shot, her leg was already badly injured. But then they made her walk on it. It caused damage to the leg muscles and she's still losing a good amount of blood. The best thing we can do for her is to surgically fix it and stop the bleeding. She'll be fine. It's not a risky surgery, and it's not the first we've seen of it." The doctor explains.
"Will it help her?" I ask.
"Most definitely, yes." She says.
"Okay. When are you doing it?" I ask.
"Well, I think she's being prepped in an hour." She says.

I'm worried, but I know she'll be okay. She's strong.