Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 94

Peeta

"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere alone in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life." -The Fray

Katniss and I head upstairs silently after the broadcast.
"Um," she says nervously. "You know, I'm going to go check on Willow. Just to make sure she's asleep still."
I nod and stand in the hall, leaning against the wall and watching as she walks into Willow's room quietly.

I hear her soft footsteps and then it's quiet for a moment. They return again and Katniss comes out of Willow's room a few seconds later. She shuts the door slowly and nods, letting me know that our daughter sleeps silently in her bed.

"Everything okay?" I ask.
"Seems like it. If she was awake at all, she fell back to sleep." Katniss whispers. She takes the lead back to our room and I watch as she undresses and tries to find pajamas to put on.
I try to pretend that I'm not still in awe of how beautiful she is, but it's useless.

"What are you staring at?" She asks defensively.
"You." I reply, smiling.
"Ugh, stop! You know I hate that." She replies.
"Yeah, but you're just so beautiful I can't help but stare." I say.
"Peeta, you've seen me like this for, what, 10 years now? Aren't you used to it?" She asks me, covering her chest and her stomach defensively.

"I'll never get used to it. I'll never get used to you. It doesn't matter how many years it's been. You get even more beautiful every day." I reply.
"Oh, stop!" She replies. I can see her cheeks blush through the dim light.
I laugh a little.
"I'm not kidding!" She says, but she starts laughing a little too.

"Maybe you should sleep like that tonight." I suggest.
"Only if you do, too." She fires back.
"I prefer not to sleep in a bra and panties." I say.
She bursts out laughing.
"Okay, okay, it wasn't that funny, Katniss." I say after a minute.

"If I have to sleep like this," she says. "Then you have to sleep without a shirt or pants."
"Sounds like a deal." I reply.

In a few minutes, the bedroom is dark and quiet. We lay there in silence, the comedy of the past moments having left with the light.
"God, if I could drink..." Katniss says. "I almost forget that I'm not allowed to sometimes. God, I would kill for some liquor."
"So could I." I reply.

I can practically feel her scowl.
"Then go downstairs and get some." She says sourly.
"If I wasn't a nice person, I would take you up on that. But I think I'll be nice to you tonight and not torture you like that." I reply.
Katniss just sighs.

"I'm going to sleep." She says frustratedly.
"No you're not." I say.
"What do you mean?"
"Neither of us are going to sleep. I mean, really, do you think we're going to sleep? After what we just watched? You think we're going to actually sleep?" I explain.

"Well, I have medicine to keep the nightmares away..." Katniss trails off.
"How much do you really trust it? Especially now, with the other medicine you're taking. Do you think it'll work with all of this extra stuff in your mind from tonight?" I ask.
"I never knew you to be so cynical, Peeta. I was always that way." She says.

I breathe deeply.
"Well, we all know how people can change."

--

Katniss

Peeta wasn't wrong. Sleep came fleetingly that night. I listened as Peeta grew quieter and all of a sudden stopped talking. His breaths evened out and I knew that sleep had swept him away, leaving me stranded ashore. The shore of being awake isn't terra incognita to me. It's not a new place for me. I find myself on this little beach often, the length of my stays varying.