Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 105

Katniss

"Dreams fight with machines inside my head like adversaries. Come wrestle me free, clean from the war." -Fleurie

My hands tremble and I drop the note onto the ground. Who is this man who threatens my daughter's life? Who does he think he is? I know that this is a trap. Well, not so much of a trap as it is his own game. He wants to play the Games that President Snow did during his reign of brutality.

Yes, the game in which the player must choose between their own life, their own sanity, their own happiness... For someone else's. And if they get just the perfect player, like myself, it'll work. I'll make the sacrifice, and they'll get just what they wanted. They'll win.

I hide the note in my dresser where Peeta won't find it. Yes, this is the part where I have to go rogue. This is the part where I do exactly what I was told not to do. Peeta wants us both to go and fight the Gold Hinge, but... He'd be better off not knowing. He'd be better off in the dark about my whole plan.

Peeta thinks that we're in this together, and while that's true in the search for her, it's me that they want. They never said a thing about Peeta. They said they wanted me, and they wanted me alone. Willow needs someone there for her on the other side of this, and it's better off being Peeta. I'm so... Damaged. Willow needs someone better than that, and that's Peeta.

So, early in the morning 3 days later, when I can't sleep, I get up. The sun has just started to rise, creating a baby pink and lavender painting in the sky. I stand at the window for a while, looking out at the woods. She's out there. I know it. She's out there in the woods, and I have to find her.

I leave a quick note on my dresser so when Peeta wakes up, he'll know I'm alright.
Peeta,
I couldn't sleep any longer, so I went out to keep searching for Willow. You don't need to worry about me.
I love you!
-K

Although it sounds a bit morbid, I begin to think about what my last words are going to have been to Peeta. I'm going to do my best to keep myself and my daughter alive, plus my unborn baby, but what I'm doing comes at a risk.

I love you. Those will have been my last words to him. Is that what I want? I don't know.
I decide that I should add more, maybe something with more significance.

Real. Always.

I add it onto the end of "I love you," sigh, then decide to give Peeta a tiny kiss on the cheek before I leave.
"I love you. Real. Always," I whisper quietly, repeating what I wrote on the note. He doesn't wake.

After I leave the room, I take a deep breath and leave my house quickly, deciding that it would be easiest to leave without looking back.

As I walk into the woods, the sun starts rising more. I place my hand on my stomach, thinking about the little boy growing inside of it. At 6 months pregnant, any fighting of the Gold Hinge will be difficult for me.

--

An hour or two later, I'm wandering through the woods when I hear a twig snap behind me.  I whip around, my braid swinging with my head.

There's nothing there. Only the trees and the little plants that rooted themselves there months and years ago. I sigh and continue on my search. I don't know what I'm looking for anymore. Willow's surely not going to be hiding out anywhere with these men. I'm not going to just stumble upon them they way I used to think I would. No, in fact, I have a feeling they're searching for me.

I have to tell myself over and over again that I am not afraid of these people, even though I am. I am terrified of them and what they could do to my family. They could rip us apart. If Willow was to die, it would break both Peeta and I. If I were to die, it would be a two-for-one deal. Take me, take the baby too. If I die, Rye will die. That would destroy Peeta. He will have lost half of his family right there.